- October 26, 2012 by AliPlease Let Me Make Your Day (That Means A Giveaway!)
- June 15, 2012 by AliMonday. 9 AM. Get Sweaty. (And For Now: A Giveaway!)
- August 10, 2012 by AliTake My Sweat (It's A Giveaway & It's Not Gross)
- May 25, 2012 by AliDo You Want Free Sneakers? (Translation: A Giveaway!)
- July 9, 2013 by AliEmbrace The Sweat (An "I Heart Sweat" Shirt Giveaway!)
- November 21, 2014 by AliDon't You Forget About Me
- November 5, 2014 by Ali“This Isn’t Steamtown”: My New York City Marathon 2014 Recap
- October 21, 2014 by Ali10 Reasons The Runner's World Half Marathon & Festival Was Wonderful (Plus A Giveaway!)
- October 15, 2014 by AliSteamtown Marathon Recap
- October 11, 2014 by AliOne More Day I Get To Run
- November 2014
- October 2014
- September 2014
- August 2014
- July 2014
- June 2014
- May 2014
- April 2014
- March 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- December 2013
- November 2013
- October 2013
- September 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
I’ve never really been on board with the whole “adult birthday” concept. It’s always felt weird to me to celebrate being, say, 28. I’m too old for my mom to bring cupcakes into my office, so what’s the point?
This year, especially, my birthday is just another day I’d like to ignore.
Leading up to today, Brian kept asking what I wanted to do for my birthday, and I’ve repeatedly told him I want to skip it.
“We’ll celebrate when there’s something to celebrate,” I’ve told him.
So here we are, on the day I turn 28, and I don’t have a special outfit to wear to work or a Facebook event telling everyone that tonight is about me. Instead, I’m sick. Friggin’ still.
I spent the entire weekend on the couch, and by last night I really reached my breakdown-meltdown point. I couldn’t stand the noise from the TV. I hated the feeling of the leather couch against my skin and I got this overall feeling that I was trapped in a prison of my apartment — and a prison of my body.
I did spend a lot of time this weekend baking. I made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and zucchini chocolate chip muffins. So I have a lot of those hanging around.
I’ve also developed tiny red, itchy bumps all over my body, which is apparently a side effect of the Humira. So how fun: I get the annoying side effects yet none of the benefits! So far this drug is the absolute best!
My plan for today is to make it to the office for an 11 AM meeting and see what happens from there.
If I can work a full day, great. If I’m back on the couch watching “Beverly Hills, 90210″ by 3 PM, then I’ll let you know the latest between Slutty Kelly and Sexy Dylan.
There will be no cake. No celebrating.
At least not yet.
I do, as always, have some birthday wishes, though. I realize that saying them “out loud” means they won’t come true, but I’ve also admitted recently to wishing on imaginary morning rabbits, so I think we’ve passed the point of practicality here.
Here are a few things I’m wishing for today, on my 28th birthday:
I want to run one lap around the Reservoir. Maybe 12 laps. But I’ll settle for one, 1.57-mile circle around that beautiful body of water.
I want to miraculously be able to run the Brooklyn Half Marathon in two weeks. I know I keep saying I have no intentions of running it. That’s the story I tell all of you. In my head, I haven’t given up on running this race, even if it means I walk the damn thing. In my head, I still think I’m going to be at that start line. It’s delusionally optimistic. I know.
I want all the friends I’ve pushed away and ignored since getting sick to know I still love them and miss them.
I want someone to unpack my suitcase from Arizona. It’s been a week and the pile is somehow getting larger.
I want to have an entire GChat conversation with LBC without complaining. She’s been taking the brunt of my frustration about this disease and I’m beginning to feel badly. So maybe today I will talk about her happy things instead of my sad ones. Cheese!
I want my friend Sara to move to the Upper East Side and not further downtown where things are “cooler” and “trendier.”
I want to go a day — I’ll bargain for an hour, even — without pain. I just want to sit comfortably for a few minutes without writhing around in discomfort.
I want to go back to Matt P.’s spin class at Crunch.
I want Celine Dion to go on tour, and I want tickets to her NYC show. Front row or bust.
I want to sleep through the night. In bed. Not on the couch.
I want a new couch.
I want to go back in time to be able to plan Tyler’s first birthday party, which happened yesterday, and which I wasn’t able to attend…
It broke my heart not being there. Facetiming my way in wasn’t the same.
I want another new Erica Sara Designs bracelet.
I know I said no cake, but I’m changing my mind: I want that really delicious three-layer Pepperidge Farm cake that they sell in the freezer section at drug stores and gas stations. Vanilla cake. Chocolate frosting. One fork.
I want to have enough energy to walk from the couch to the kitchen and back without having to take a break.
I want to remember what it feels like to be healthy. I truly have no recollection of what that’s like, and that sucks.
I want to finally write the blog post about how I’m feeling better, and how much I’ve appreciated all of your kind words and your support during these dark days. How sick are we all of reading about Crohn’s disease? Trust me, I know. But I’ve got nothing else!
I doubt I get 28 wishes today. So if I only get one, let it be this one…
I want to be a healthy, happy 28-year-old. Starting today.
Wednesday was “Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit” day. I have woken up on the first day of every month since kindergarten and, while still laying in bed, I have whispered, “Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit.” It’s supposed to bring you good luck for the […]
Last week — like so many of the ones that came before it — was something of a disaster for me. But between the rage-filled phone calls with angry nurses, the sleepless nights and the increasingly-high fevers, there were a […]
It felt strange not to acknowledge what happened on the day of the Boston Marathon here. I kept feeling like, “I blog about running…I should have an opinion. I should have feelings. And I should share them…right?” But every time […]
The food’ll come out…tomorrow!!! Thank goodness. Yes, I made it to Day 10 of the juice cleanse. On that note alone, I think we can jump right into the recently-neglected Thankful Things Thursday. I’m thankful I get to chew food […]
I hate juice. I hate fruit juice. I hate vegetable juice. I hate freshly-made juice and I hate Cooler Cleanse juice. So yeah, The Great Juice Cleanse of 2013 is going supremely well! Clearly. To refresh your potentially short-term memory: […]
Hi. I’m alive. And I’m doing OK. The Remicade, as suspected, never worked. The hospital visit was worth it for the fluid IV alone — my fever has been down since Monday and I’m not as deathly exhausted as I […]
Let’s get the cheesy stuff out of the way first… From the very bottom of my diseased little heart, thank you all so much for your kind comments, your sweet thoughts and your nice Tweets. Being ill sucks, but every […]
Things are not so good around here. Things are, unfortunately, getting progressively worse around here. It’s been a really bad past week or so. I was optimistic before I left for L.A. Even though the trip was going to involve […]
Well if that’s not the whiniest little post title of all time… One thing people tend to tell me when I’m Crohn’s flaring is that I “manage to stay so positive and optimistic.” Maybe online it seems that way. It’s […]