Wedding Week!

Date: November 16, 2015 at 4:31 pm- by Ali- Comment(s): 17

This is your official warning: The time has come to write about The Wedding. I have so much to say (such a surprise!), so I’m breaking it all down into many posts over several days. If you typically come here for the running stuff (which has been mostly MIA since like 2012…) or the Crohn’s stuff (check back here the first week of December!), your time will come again soon. But for now, we’re talking All Things Team Cristiano. Buckle up, babes. It’s gonna be a long ride.

Gold glitter everything. Even a gold giraffe picture frame I found at Hobby Lobby which BTW is the greatest place EVER I recently discovered.

Gold glitter everything. Even a gold giraffe picture frame I found at Hobby Lobby which BTW is the greatest place EVER I recently discovered.

First up: a post I wrote the week of the wedding but never published because everything went from “totally ready” to “OMG all this last-minute stuff, where did it come from?” So just go ahead and pretend you’re reading this on September 23…

It is officially Wedding Week!

This is what "Wedding Week" looks like. Gold candy everywhere.

This is what “Wedding Week” looks like. Gold candy everywhere.

Never in my life have 10 months passed quite so fast. I loved being engaged to Brian. We spent the first three months of our engagement just staring at each other and smiling and giggling like sixth graders. Or maybe fourth graders. I feel like sixth graders these days are maybe less innocent and more slutty and doing insane things like snorting cinnamon. I don’t know. I was a good kid in sixth grade.

Anyway. Just as soon as I got used to calling Brian my fiancΓ©, he’ll get a new title. Madness!

My last week as a Feller is proving to be an excitingly busy one. Here’s how it’s all gone down so far…

Selena Gomez is giving us the silent treatment because Brian said he can't come to the wedding. :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

Selena Gomez is giving us the silent treatment because Brian said he can’t come to the wedding. πŸ™ πŸ™ πŸ™ πŸ™ πŸ™ πŸ™ πŸ™ I gave him this veil to cheer him up because I’m not like other moms, I’m a cool mom!

FRIDAY!

Brian came to November Project!

"It's going to be loud, and there's a lot of hugging and swearing," is basically how I explained November Project.

“It’s going to be loud, and there’s a lot of hugging and swearing,” is basically how I explained November Project.

When we got engaged, I was super bossy and was like, “Brian, before we get married, you have to come to yoga and you have to come to November Project.” He did yoga with me in Bryant Park over the summer and then, on the final available Friday before our wedding, he came to NP! We rode our bikes to the workout downtown, and it was wonderful!

That's why Brian is wearing bike shorts!

That’s why Brian is wearing bike shorts!

SATURDAY!

I did a “long run” and it was mostly terrible. I was hot, my stomach hurt, I had very little energy, and as soon as I decided I was done, I was like OMG I LOVE RUNNING THAT WAS GREAT CENTRAL PARK ON A SATURDAY IS AMAZING! Running is so stupid that way. It’s like, “Here, do an abusive amount of body-pounding cardio and feel like shit and then declare you love it.”

I smiled a lot along the way, though, because the next time I’m in Central Park on a Saturday, it’s to get married!

Our wedding spot! Looking good!

Our wedding spot! Looking so fresh and so green green!

I came back from my run to receive the most amazing gift: monogrammed Ralph Lauren robes from my friend Burke, who NBD is a designer for Ralph Lauren. The problem with this gift is I refuse to take it off. That’s why I wore it to dinner and shopping and to the bodega down the block.

My new initials: AFC. American Fighting Champion. COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT.

My new initials: AFC. American Fighting Champion. COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT.

And then, Brian and I went apartment crazy. We live in this itty bitty square and it’s a wedding war zone right now. Gifts are all stacked and piled under the “dining room table” (AKA storage unit), and there are boxes on the other side of the “living room” with wedding-related things, like 200 pairs of gold sunglasses that had to be unwrapped and de-stickered.

So much manual labor! Being a bride is impossible!

So much manual labor! Being a bride is impossible!

So we gutted everything we could. We threw out and donated something like 18 bags of shit. Expired gross “food products” from my short-lived gluten-free phase two years ago, dresses from H&M with the tags still on, and lots of actual trash.

SUNDAY!

I jogged with friends out doing casual 18-mile training runs and rejoiced my decision not to run any fall races. I scooted along for five miles before riding to Van Cortlandt Park to hang out with Coach Cane.

Fun fact: Brian and I had spent the day in VCP filming those JackRabbit commercials back in 2011 β€” that was the day I learned who he was (not the caterer) and we flirted and a few hours later via Facebook message we decided to go on our first “date,” which lasted four years and counting.

So that was a fitting way to spend our Sunday. A literal trip down memory lane, via bicycle. I complained a lot because bike riding is so difficult for me and never gets easier despite doing it four whole times a year!

BRIAN, WE HAVE TO STOP AND TAKE A PIC IN FRONT OF THE SIGN.

BRIAN, WE HAVE TO STOP AND TAKE A PIC IN FRONT OF THE SIGN.

Now we’re in the home stretch! I feel surprisingly calm knowing I have stuff left on my to-do list, but that whatever isn’t done by Wednesday just isn’t getting done and that’s OK. The big stuff is in place, and I never could bring myself to care about what I saw as little things, like elaborate decorations or precious details everywhere like “How Well Do You Know the Bride and Groom?” quizzes.

MONDAY!

Yoga, REI to get a bag for the honeymoon, and to the jeweler to get my ring cleaned for the last time before a lot of people see it!

TUESDAY!

So much work. A final phone call with our DJ to make sure he knows how to pronounce all of the important names and to remind him that there is no limit on the number of Pitbull songs he can play. And then I half-assed writing and polka-dotting our rehearsal dinner place cards.

Just a small dinner for 52. BEFORE the wedding...

Just a small dinner for 52. BEFORE the wedding…

WEDNESDAY!

"NP Bridesmaids!"

“NP Bridesmaids!”

OMG NOVEMBER PROJECT. Today is the most special day of my life. Will Saturday compare? I don’t know.

They even made me a little bouquet with fresh Carl Schurz Park flowers!

They made me a little bouquet with fresh Carl Schurz Park flowers!

Today, at the end of the NP workout, they threw me a little wedding. I got a veil with the NP tag on it, and I was instructed to walk through the group’s makeshift “aisle,” and they played Celine Dion while it happened, and everyone got Ring Pops and I cried and cried and cried. This is the happiest I have ever been.

This is Paul. NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH BRIAN.

This is Paul. NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH BRIAN.

Then I spent a lot of time baking loads of homemade granola for our hotel “Welcome Bags,” which was surprisingly not the worst project ever (it’s very easy and therefore soothing!). Everyone told me not to do it β€” “you will NOT want to add projects to your list the week of the wedding” β€” but I liked it. Suck it, everyone!

The main ingredient is "extra chocolate chips." It's health food because I call it GRANOLA.

Bowl 1/6. The main ingredient is “extra chocolate chips.” It’s health food because I call it GRANOLA.

And at night: my final dress fitting! Very exciting! Except that suddenly my dress was much too big. File under “things I never ever ever ever thought would happen to me.” So the seamstress β€” she was none too pleased with me and insisted this “never happens” which I think is a lie because it happened to like 12 of my friends β€” was like, “Imma fix this right now, come back in three hours, after we close.”

Six cab rides later, I have my dress and I love it.

It was like 10 PM and the poor front desk girl was NOT thrilled to still be there, and then I asked her to take my picture. I am the worst?

It was like 10 PM and the poor front desk girl was NOT thrilled to still be there, and then I asked her to take my picture. I am the worst?

My parents will arrive tomorrow morning, at which point my “Out of Office” response goes up for the next, I don’t know, six months (JK JK JK I WISH), and everything starts happening.

I feel really super calm and excited!

Hahahaha.

17 Responses to "Wedding Week!"

I am loving this post as I am getting married on Monday and I know the emotions!!! my dress is not too big in fact it sis too small.. as I continue to shove chocolate down my throat, yolo!

Katrina in Seattle says: November 16, 2015 at 5:17 pm

Yay Wedding Week!! πŸ˜€

Tracy Schwartz says: November 16, 2015 at 7:20 pm

Bring on all the wedding posts!!! I’m currently single and eating all the gold wrapped chocolate!!

I was hoping you would do wedding posts!!! Can’t wait to read them πŸ™‚
P.S. A+ on the gold candy!! Amazing.

i laughed so many times. love this post #NEVERENOUGHPITBULL

Love everything about this post!!! ….except the being too small for your dress, hehe.

Love love love this post!!! Would also love to see the granola recipe (can’t go wrong with chocolate chips I suppose!!! Looks good)

Getting married in July/2016, so loving the ideas πŸ™‚
Can’t wait to see the upcoming posts <3

It’s SO easy! Emailing it to you now!

My sister got married and their response card asked for a song to be danced to…I said all Pitbull – because as you know – no limit exists for Pitbull

It’s so fun reading about your wedding! Can’t wait for the next posts. The NP “wedding” was so awesome! I’d love the granola recipe, too, if you wouldn’t mind!

Hooray for wedding recaps!! I can’t wait to read all about it…if the rest are as hilarious as this one, I’m in for some good belly laughs πŸ™‚ Also, how do you get such awesome mid-air jump pictures…and then how did both you and Brian time it so well?? No wonder you’re married lol!

I feel like having a blog is fun because it’s like an extended facebook post — you can get everything in there that pictures alone couldn’t show!

Looks like you handled the excitingly busy-ness of the week leading up to your wedding quite well! The November project “wedding” is super cute — it seems like a great community and it seems like they all REALLY love you, which is a great testament to your character.

I am a long-time reader and it is really nice to see you so happy. The wedding (and honeymoon) seem like they were beautiful!! CONGRATULATIONS!

When I read your posts I often think we are the same person. Plus I love giraffes. looking forward to the rest of your wedding posts!

You look amazing you and Brian are such a cute couple seriously can tell one this relationship will last. I want a reality show please!