Feel-Good Friday

Date: July 31, 2015 at 10:45 am- by Ali- Comment(s): 21

Now this is the story all about how my wedding dress got twist-turned upside down. Now I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there, I’ll tell you about the time my dress would barely zip over my butt.

Yeah. That happened.

I have spent the past, oh, six months being nervous about my first dress fitting. My body has fluctuated a lot this year and I’ve spent probably too much time thinking about it and being frustrated with it. So I was equal parts anxious and excited for my first fitting.

I want custom labels on everything I drink from now on.

I want custom labels on everything I drink from now on. In no way is that too much to ask.

I packed up my shoes, veil, and jewelry, got caught in a massive rainstorm, and arrived at the bridal salon looking like a wet — but eager! — rat.

The very nice seamstress had me step into the dress, and…we struggled to get it over my butt. There was no way the top was zipping.

I stood there sort of in disbelief. I may have gained some weight or “shifted shape” a bit since getting the dress in January, but enough that the dress wouldn’t even zip?? I was trying hard not to cry or panic as the seamstress told me there was only so much she could do, and that I would essentially need to “come back closer to the wedding” to try again.

In other words, go lose a bunch of weight, and come back when you won’t look like a partially squeezed sausage leaking out of its synthetic casing.

THIS IS WHY I WEAR SPANDEX ALL THE TIME. Spandex always fits. Luon never lets me down.

THIS IS WHY I WEAR SPANDEX ALL THE TIME. Spandex always fits. Luon never lets me down.

Then, before I left, I thought…something isn’t right.

And I asked the nice saleslady to check the tag in the dress. I was just curious.

OH RIGHT, IT DIDN’T FIT BECAUSE THEY ACCIDENTALLY ORDERED MY DRESS TWO SIZES TOO SMALL.

'SCUSE ME, WHAT?

‘SCUSE ME, WHAT?

So no kidding it didn’t fit. My “size 8” was actually a size 4.

Talk about breathing a sigh of relief. Clerical error FTW! Back to Nutella crepes for breakfast!

I don't know this lady, but we were BFFs at my bachelorette party! LADY, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, YOU ARE DEF INVITED TO THE WEDDING.

I don’t know this lady, but we were BFFs at my bachelorette party! LADY, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, YOU ARE DEF INVITED TO THE WEDDING.

My correct dress is now being rush ordered, and I hope it will zip. But whoa baby, what a short-lived un-fun experience!

I was going to post a Thankful Things Thursday yesterday, but after that frazzling turn of events, I decided to lay down in air conditioning all night instead.

Still, I have some happy thoughts worth sharing, and I’m never one to let an opportunity for alliteration pass me by. Welcome to the first-ever (and probably last, because consistency is not my strength these days) Feel-Good Friday! Where we share things we feel good about! You can play, too.

I WANNA RIDE MY BIKE! I was on a good streak, and now I haven't been on it in a month. Like I said, consistency...

I WANNA RIDE MY BIKE! I was on a good streak, and now I haven’t been on it in a month. Like I said, consistency…

I am sick, but not death-bed-level sick! No real changes on the health front. I’m still Crohnsing, but it’s contained to stomach-only sickness. Lots of time in the bathroom, urgency, blood. But no fevers or night sweats, which makes a huge difference. I am tremendously grateful for the mildness of this flare. It sucks, but not as much as I know it can suck! Perspective.

Fire Island sunsets. That's some good shit. (Lauren, care to share your thoughts?)

Fire Island sunsets. That’s some good shit. (Lauren, care to share your thoughts?)

I went to the doctor on Tuesday, and his thought was that the study drug may be wearing off. Huge bummer. He made a comment along the lines of “your body is stronger than the drug.” Boom! If only that were actually a good thing. I did a full round of bloodwork, I have to do another less-fun sample-style test (I’m sure you can figure it out), and I am going in for a colonoscopy next week. He wants to see what exactly is inflamed, where the disease is acting up, and just basically poke around inside because that’s a fun day for everyone.

Pretty much.

Pretty much.

I have a new pair of shoes and they’re amazing. The HOKA ONE ONE Clifton 2 is even prettier than the original, and just as cushion-y and soft and light. I’ve only been able to run in them twice so far because, well, running hasn’t been happening as much as I’d like. But if you haven’t tried HOKAs yet, maybe stop waiting? They really are game-changing shoes.

Beauties!

Beauties! Two runs on the Bridal Path and they’re already filthy.

I went to New Hampshire for a few days to visit my parents and do wedding things (no sales tax there!) and go for runs and jump in a pool after. It was a very nice, productive visit. I am not at all a DIY-type of person, but my mom and I did do some crafty things…

Spray-painting!

Spray-painting!

CRUSHED IT.

CRUSHED IT.

…and I went to bed early and I got to play with baby goats.

DO YOU SEE THESE BABY GOATS?! TOTES MA GOATS!!!

DO YOU SEE THESE BABY GOATS?! TOTES MA GOATS!!!

All good things. Usually I go home and my mom and I just outlet shop and run errands the whole time.

I love that moose. I love all moose!

I love that moose. I love all moose!

This time we told my dad we would also participate in activities that would make him happy. That went well…

I'm smiling because this was taken after I was helping my dad get the canoe on the roof and let go of my end and it came crashing onto the ground. Woops!

I’m smiling because this was taken after I was helping my dad get the canoe on the roof and let go of my end and it came crashing onto the ground. Woops!

I have a new backpack, and it makes me want to go back to school. I’m part of The North Face’s #TNFLocals crew, which means I get to test some cool products (The North Face is also affiliated with November Project!). They sent me this sweet backpack the other day and I used it for my trip to New Hampshire.

LOOK AT THOSE COLORS.

LOOK AT THOSE COLORS.

I usually feel sort of dorky with a backpack, but it feels a heck of a lot better than lugging around a 200-lb. shoulder bag. (The North Face is currently running a promotion through the months of July and August called #GivePack. All packs purchased this month will help Big City Mountaineers mentor underserved youth on wilderness expeditions. Pretty cool.)

I have been dancing a little bit lately. Well, not so much since I started feeling sick. But a few weeks ago I finally took a “Beyoncé Bodies” class, which was a blast. We learned a routine to “Who Run the World?” I’ve been performing it at home ever since. And I finally tried AKT In Motion, which is super fun, but also crazy expensive, so…two classes will be it for a while.

They TOLD US to look sassy. I was just following directions.

They TOLD US to look sassy. I was just following directions.

I have gold sunglasses. Definitely real gold. Noooo, they’re not. My friend (and November Project co-leader) PaulLeak found them under a set of bleachers one day, and I saw him wearing them and said, “THOSE ARE AWESOME OMGGGG,” and he gave them to me. #SomethingBorrowed

Al Fel & Al Burke. Sunny days in Central Park. She brought me watermelon. GOOD FRIEND.

Al Fel & Al Burke. Sunny days in Central Park. She brought me watermelon. GOOD FRIEND.

I’ve been seeing a lot of really good puppies lately. Turns out, when you’re walking and taking breaks instead of running, you get to see a lot more stuff!

Here's Finn! I met him when he was 11 weeks old and now he is 15 weeks!!

Here’s Finn! I met him when he was 11 weeks old and now he is 15 weeks!!

The other day, Tyler was telling each person in our family who they got to be if our lives were Frozen.

He's ALWAYS Elsa.

He’s ALWAYS Elsa.

My dad is Olaf and Abby is Sven and I get to be Elsa. See? Dreams do come true.

Olaf, Elsa, and Anna!

Olaf, Elsa, and Grammy!

Speaking of that…

Our honeymoon is booked! And it is going to be everything I ever dreamed of. I never really dreamed about my fantasy wedding or a picture-perfect dress. But since my youth, I’ve had dreams of going on an African safari. And that is what we’re doing. I can’t really believe it. Needless to say last night I Googled, “How to emotionally prepare for an African safari and seeing giraffes in the wild.”

...and this was just a statue. I am doomed.

…and this was just a statue. I am doomed.

The agreement was that I would plan our entire wedding if Brian would plan our honeymoon. I am good at a lot of things — writing neatly sometimes, making sure the Brita is always full, keeping my phone fully charged at all times — but I am not good at planning trips. So after I “tried to help” and booked us at a pretty disastrous hotel in Vermont over Memorial Day for one of Brian’s bike races, he was basically like, “You will have nothing to do with our honeymoon.” That was my plan all along. Mwahaha.

Our Vermont hotel. WHATEVER, BRIAN, MY BAD. It felt straight out of Hot Tub Time Machine. (Not that I saw that movie or anything...JUST GUESSING.)

Our Vermont hotel. WHATEVER, BRIAN, MY BAD. It felt straight out of Hot Tub Time Machine. (Not that I saw that movie or anything…JUST GUESSING.)

With that, here is my parting gift to you. Glamour Shots circa 1996, and a seriously creepy love letter to Zack Morris. You. Are. Welcome.

Outfit #1: An edgy pleather zip-up shirt.

Outfit #1: An edgy pleather zip-up shirt.

Outfit #2: A pale blue silk button-up shirt. Sunglasses add a hint of flirtation.

Outfit #2: A pale blue silk button-up shirt. Sunglasses add a hint of flirtation.

Outfit #4 was my favorite. I remember thinking, "This is exactly what I will wear when I am a magazine editor in New York City."

Outfit #3 was my favorite. I remember thinking, “This is exactly what I will wear when I am a magazine editor in New York City.”

Outfit #4: A black off-the-shoulder dress with a necklace. Hands clasped together means, "I'm hoping Zack Morris is going to ask me to prom."

Outfit #4: A black off-the-shoulder dress with a necklace. Hands clasped together means, “I’m hoping Zack Morris is going to ask me to prom.”

"Dear Zack, If you don't go out with me—and I swear I'm not at all desperate—I will find you in your sleep at night and crawl into bed with you. I'll bring my bears-riding-a-carousel stationary with me. Love, Your Secret Admirer"

“Dear Zack, If you don’t go out with me—and I swear I’m not at all desperate—I will find you in your sleep at night and crawl into bed with you. I’ll bring my bears-riding-a-carousel stationary with me. Love, Your Secret Admirer”

YOU DO IT, TOO! What’s something you’re feeling good about? Racing this weekend? Sleeping in this weekend? Nutella crepe-ing all weekend? Do tell.

21 Responses to "Feel-Good Friday"

1) TAKE ME to that Beyonce class. I miss dancing like woah, and a sassy class is exactly what I need to feel like a dance superstar again.
2) The Clifton 2’s look way sleeker than the originals. Love ’em!
3) AFRICAN SAFARI? My boyfriend will be very jealous and probably remind me that if we get married he wants to go on a safari. How cool!!

I hope you feel better soon!

African Safari? So cool!

PS Your Zack Morris letter looks very similar to one I drafted for Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Needless to say, he did NOT go out with me.

GREAT post. The dress thing is SO traumatic. So glad you checked!

Where is your safari!? I went on one in Tanzania. Happy to give any tips/pointers/etc. Such a great experience

Leigh-Anne says: July 31, 2015 at 11:51 am

That Zach Morris letter almost made me spit out my coffee. You are so funny.

such a fun post — glad you went back and sorted out that dress thing! woof nightmare. i’m running tomorrow morning but no races planned…and they put a creperie into my office building and i walk by every day and watch people get Nutella crepes. yet to try them, because my butt doesn’t need it, either. 🙂

I love everything in this post!!! I’m so glad you posted your love letter to Zach and not my creepy letters to you, my dying lesbian lover. hahaha. Can’t believe that happened with the dress, I was really stressed the first few paragraphs. So glad they sorted it out and hopefully that will be the only hiccup!

I am feeling good about it being now less than a month until my trip to Italy and Greece!! So excited!

My goodness, what a terrifying wedding dress experience! I am glad you had the forethought to ask them to check the tag! Whew! I just got married two weeks ago, and at my dress fitting the dress was so tight I could only take half breaths, and it made me look incredibly flat (which I am not). I took the dress home, and cried, and then got the guts to take the dress back to the seamstress. She didn’t act like it was any problem, and added some padding as well as loosened it a bit. I loved the result, and I am SO glad I didn’t just suck it up and wear the dress after that disastrous fitting. Stick to your guns!

When you said #TNFLocals all I could think about was TNF-alpha. Biologics have ruined my life! So happy your correct wedding dress will fit you. I have a big butt and whenever I’ve gotten out of the hospital after a Crohn’s flare my husband always says I “lose my butt.”

Oh wow! The glamour shots! I totally wanted to do that and never did. You amaze me!

GREAT SUNSET. Good job. ALSO AFRICA?!?!?! BRB TEXTING YOU NOW.

I want a backpack. I want THAT backpack. Normally I find them odd and bulky and they make me feel like I’m 7 years old but I agree it’s better than lugging stuff around. Is this one on sale or just for cool kids to try? I know I know, enough about the backpack…

Monica C. says: August 3, 2015 at 12:10 pm

you are always so funny, but the Glamour Shots and love letter had me laughing out loud today! Love it!! I hope you have a wonderful honeymoon!

I am STILL feeling good about getting engaged in Hawaii exactly 19 days ago 😀 ps. you weren’t kidding about venue prices…

AMAZING goat joke. It’s a toss up between that or your stationery for MVP of this post.

Woahhh…wedding dress un-adventure! I was so happy to read that they had ordered the wrong size…smart of you to double check…
Also, the fact that you googled how to prepare emotionally to see giraffes is hilarious and that “hotel” looks a lot like a glow-in-the-dark session at the bowling alley circa 2002.

I get married the day before you and my dress is actually mine and very tight and I am maybe not going to be able to sit. So now I’m thinking about a reception dress and my mister is like eh or maybe you don’t do that. But when I bought it they said they would need to take it out in the thighs a little and then I went to the seamstress who informed me she has 3/8 of an inch to work w so that’s super. Anddd I booked our honeymoon and it cost nearly 25% of our budget and I was like all GO BIG OR GO HOME!! and he’s like now we cant pay for everything we have a balance due for and I’m like ohh oops

Oh my gosh the dress. Wow. That is an incredible story. Also…jealous of the African safari, I’ve always wanted to do that. Zebras forever.

THOSE GLAMOUR SHOTS! I love them!
Feeling good because I spent the weekend in Block Island with the boyfriend and his daughters. It was a total bonding weekend… I knew I had fallen in love with him but never dreamed i’d get to fall for 2 adorable sidekicks. And seeing BF being the most amazing daddy made me just love him more. So that’s my FeelGood Friday (on a Wednesday because I am just catching up!)

Those glamour shots are amazing, haha. Also an African Safari sounds WAY cool. I fully endorse going on an amazing trip you’d never take otherwise for your honeymoon. That dress story is a NIGHTMARE. I’d just be in tears. It’s glad you checked the size issue out because that’s a big mistake!

I have similar pseudo-psycho/stalker letters to Mark-Paul and Co. I want to say from around 4th-5th grade? My wedding dress experiences were similarly traumatizing. If I ever walk down the aisle again it will be in moisture-wick and spandex. Do you have posts that explain how you snagged the gig with SELF?