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My Many Stages of Wedding Planning
I’ve gone through several stages of wedding planning.
The first stage, immediately post-engagement, was EXCITEMENT. Everything was love love love and I was happy and glowing (“glowing” = riding a steady champagne buzz for the first month of our engagement) and couldn’t wait to start the planning process. What kind of wedding would we have?!
The second stage was FRUSTRATION. Once we decided we maybe wanted some kind of barn wedding or rustic-type thing upstate or on the North Fork or maybe even in the Hamptons (even during the off-season, LOL), Brian and I immediately hopped on the task of finding our date and venue. And people laughed at us. “You want to get married in the fall? Of 2015? LOLOLOLOL.” Direct quotes. For real. Places were either booked through the entire year or they were just so outrageously priced that I don’t know how anyone could get married there (and yet, booked solid!).
The third stage was RELIEF. We came up with a cool idea that was basically the result of us saying “I wish we could just blah blah blah blah.” Followed by, “Wait, can we do that?!” It would be something different from anything wedding we’d attended (and we’ve been to a whole lot), which was what we wanted. We got a pretty perfect date — not only will our wedding be the day before both our parents were married back in the day, but it’s the same weekend as the Hamptons Marathon so hi, anniversary marathon every year, and September 26 means a lifetime of making wedding date/marathon references (because 26.2…).
The fourth stage was OVERWHELM-MENT. Now that we had our date and venue, we actually had to start conceptualizing the whole thing. And while I am a generally organized person, I am not a creative person when it comes to this stuff (bride fail, sorry Pinterest). I don’t have dreamy visions of how a wedding should look, and as excited as I was to jump on Pinterest, I got very overwhelmed very quickly.
I know what I like and don’t like immediately, always, but I can’t look at a big open space and say, “This is where the cake should be and this is where the Selena Gomez will be stationed and this is where Celine will perform.” So for a while, I just could not picture what our wedding would look like. And people wanted to know about our “color scheme” and I was like “champagne colored BYE FELICIA.”
The fifth stage was SHOCK. This arose during the aforementioned Frustration Phase, but the deeper we go into wedding planning, the more I am consistently shocked by the upcharges on all things wedding. Oh, you want your hair done for a party? $50. Oh, it’s for a wedding? $250. Ohhhh, some flowers for your home?! I can make you a lovely arrangement for $30. Oh oh oh, this is for a bouquet for your wedding? $300. Each. Part of it is because we’re in New York City, but it’s just the whole wedding industry in general.
The sixth stage — the stage I’m in now — is GREAT JOY. I am really really really excited now. It’s like a switch flipped a few weeks ago and I went from being overwhelmed and worried about stuff to just being like “this party is happening, hell yeah.” We’re about three months out and we have a lot of the big, important stuff done. The hotel block, after much frustration, is locked down, and I’m obsessed with watching peoples’ reservations pop up. It’s exciting to know that people are really, truly coming to celebrate with us!
Brian and I were at a wedding in Vermont earlier this month, and we realized that the next wedding we would attend would be our wedding. Whaaaaat?!
Other noteworthy-only-to-me things we’ve accomplished:
We picked out our wedding bands!
That was a fun day.
We wandered toward the jeweler where Brian got my engagement ring and there was this huge crowd gathered outside. I was all, “Is this the line to get in??? Daaaamn these people must be popular!” And then some paparazzi guy was like, “Naw, Floyd Mayweather’s in there.” Oh. OK. So in we go, to get our rings while he was sitting there with one suitcase at his feet filled with cash and another filled with diamonds (no joke). He also had an entourage of about 13 people with him.
The crazier part? Brian and I left to do something terrible (go to Saks Fifth Avenue to try on shoes — why why why would you do that, Alison, when you knew you would fall in love with an $800 pair of shoes?), and as we were leaving Saks, Floyd and his entourage were pulling up and rolling in! I was like, “FLOYD STOP FOLLOWING ME,” and Brian goes, “Don’t talk to him.” His entourage was not friendly. And Floyd would not pay for our rings or those shoes I wanted. He really is a shitty human.
I finally got my ring resized! Yeah…should’ve done that sooner. It fits now! And it’s very shiny again.
The invitations have been sent! I thought hand-addressing them would be some big project, but it took me fewer than 24 hours. I loved it. Then I stamped the RSVP envelopes, stamped the big envelopes (put half the stamps on sideways like an idiot — please no one notice), stuffed them all, and sealed them. I anticipated this being quite the to-do (who says that?), but it was a really easy, mindless project. Minus the stupid sideways stamps. I hate myself.
And then I went to the post office and, as the websites suggested, asked for the envelopes to please be hand-canceled. LOL. Should’ve known how that would go over in New York City, even with my sweetest smile and kindest words.
Post Office people, why you gotta be so rude? No matter what I do, mean mean mean. The guy at the post office said, “We don’t do that here,” and sent me to the post office further south. So I went to that one, and when I asked, the woman rolled her eyes at me for making such a ridiculous request (Style Me Pretty and A Practical Wedding said to do it!). She then said she would “go out of her way to do 50 of them,” but said each additional would cost five cents. So I counted out 50 (family, bridal party, and anyone with acute attention to detail) and put the rest in the regular mail. BYE AGAIN FELICIA. SEE YOU AT THE WEDDING.
We got our first wedding gift!!! That was especially exciting. Registries are such a weird thing, because you pick out exactly what you want. But the day we got our first gift (champagne flutes and wine glasses from my super awesome cousin/fellow champs-lover), I was really really genuinely excited. Even though I picked it out.
My dress is here. It actually arrived three weeks ago, but I’m putting off scheduling my fitting because I’m terrified it won’t zip. My mom is coming to visit in a few weeks, so I’ll just wait for that. I’m sure she’s super excited at the potential for a major meltdown! LUV U, MOM.
The menu is set. Taco bar, mashed potato bar, lobster rolls, and mac and cheese. And a lot more. Like pigs in blankets, because Brian really wanted them.
Our officiant is officiated! One person here actually correctly guessed who would be marrying us, which I think is awesome (and a testament to being a longtime reader! well done!). Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to introduce for the very first time: Pope Cane! We are so so so excited for Coach Cane to be marrying us because he’s known each of us for a long time, both separately and together. Plus I really think Pope Cane is catchy. (He has not yet agreed to that nickname.)
We still definitely have some big things to tackle, and time is ticking right along, but I’m not worried about it. My bachelorette party is this weekend, which doesn’t seem real at all. I’m the bachelorette this time? Strange!
Because everyone said we needed a hashtag.
PS How do we get a marriage license and how long does it take and is it hard? Do we have to go through an interview and someone will decide if we’re worthy of marriage? I Googled it earlier but got distracted and never learned the process.