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An Update On That Party We're Planning
“We should play ‘Welcome to New York’ when everyone is arriving at the reception!”
“Like…the Taylor Swift song?”
To clarify, the first and third lines above were said by Brian. I was the one questioning whether he was aware that he did, in fact, choose a Taylor Swift song to welcome our guests, and whether he was serious.
He was, and he was.
Needless to say, Brian and I are still getting married.
Somehow we have already been engaged for more than four months, which means we have five months to go until the wedding. I don’t understand.
According to The Knot, Martha Stewart Weddings, Brides magazine, various other online checklists, and several former brides, we are frighteningly behind schedule in the planning process. But we’re slowly moving along, making decisions about our first dance song (decided!), how many Pitbull songs is an acceptable number of Pitbull songs for the reception (as if there’s a limit), what to do about hotel blocks (the least fun project so far, so we put my dad on it), and where to head for our honeymoon (there will be giraffes).
This is clearly the beginning of a post about the wedding planning process, so if that’s not your scene, that little X in the corner of your browser tab should take care of that for you, and I’ll see you next week (I’m off to DC for the weekend with the whole Feller fam!). Otherwise, stick around: Here’s a rundown on how wedding things are shaping up around here.
I wanted a fall wedding, and we’re having a fall wedding. That was really the only thing I felt strongly about: fall. I didn’t have a specific date in mind, but threw September 26 on the table since it was a Saturday and it should hopefully be warm then without being sweaty hot (even though I <3 Sweat) or too cold when the sun goes down.
Not only will our wedding be September 26, but both my parents and Brian’s parents were married on September 27. What are the odds of that? Like one in 365, right? I love the coincidental significance of our date and that we get to share anniversaries (one day off) with our families. I’m a sap. Leave me aloooone.
I spent one day dress shopping and bought the fourth dress I tried on. I went to four dress shops. I loved two dresses, both at the first shop of the day. I went back the next morning to make my decision and subsequent purchase. I spent the next 48 hours having the most dramatic emotional meltdowns of all time.
I don’t know why I was so emotional and irrational and freaked out. I showed pictures of the two dresses I loved to about a dozen people, desperate for them to tell me I picked the right one (which they all did — good friends). I hated myself for reacting so strongly to the purchase and felt like a demon. Two days later, I was over it. It’s a dress. I love it. And I look forward to actually getting to see it again in, oh, August. (Also, this seems to be a common reaction. I’ve talked to a ton of people who all said they had freakouts after buying their dresses. Damn you, wedding industry, for making us all crazy!)
I am very concerned with making my guests comfortable and happy. People say it’s “our day,” but I want my parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandmothers, former coworkers, and college friends to be happy and not feel inconvenienced by our wedding. I know Brian and I will have fun no matter what. I want them to have fun, too. The open bar should help with that. A few people have asked if we’re having a “signature drink” (because that’s a thing), and the answer is “a lot of champagne.” Maybe some Throwback Franzia late-night. We’ll see.
We did our tasting and it was fun. As much as I love food and spend every minute of every day thinking about food, I don’t care all that much about our wedding food. I remember a few key treats from various weddings — lobster rolls during cocktail hour at a wedding in Rhode Island, cannoli “nachos” from a country club wedding in Connecticut, and killer homemade mac and cheese from my cousin’s wedding in New Jersey — but generally the meal is not the highlight for me. I like the cocktail hour and the dancing and the toasts.
We’re not doing a seated dinner — we agreed on that immediately. We’ll have tons of passed Hors d’Oeuvres (can anyone spell that word correctly without Googling it?) and food stations, but no seated three-course assigned seating situation. Yay no seating chart!
I am excited to address our invitations. I think it will be a fun project for me. I like to write stuff. Remind me I said this in two months when I have a pile of unaddressed envelopes and hate my life and finally say, “Screw it, we’re sending e-vites.” We also haven’t designed or ordered our invitations yet, because we have to figure out the logistics of sending a goldendoodle puppy to every single person we invited, with a note around its collar saying “Woof you join us at our wedding?”
Brian and I both decided early on that we weren’t going to try to have a Manhattan wedding. We assumed it would be too expensive, and were hoping to find something we loved on Long Island or in Hudson Valley.
We are having a Manhattan wedding. And I am insanely excited about that.
I am supposed to be #sheddingforthewedding? I ate chocolate chips for breakfast yesterday, nachos for lunch, and pudding for dinner. So it’s going really well. Eventually I will feel motivated to clean up my diet and start picking up some heavy weights…right?
So far our wedding is super personal. One of our near and dear friends is getting ordained to officiate the ceremony (guess who!). Our photographer is someone I worked with for years at Dance Spirit. (She’s not a wedding photographer — she’s a dance and fashion photographer for The New York Times — but I asked very nicely.) Our day-of coordinator was referred to us by a friend, and he’s fabulous and amazing and I love him. Our videographers are guys who have worked for Brian for a long time.
The only flowers we’ll have will be for my bouquet and my bridesmaids’ bouquets. Are you a cheap florist in NYC? MySpace me. Let’s talk. (Yeah no but seriously, are you? Referrals welcome. And I know a few people suggested getting the flowers at Costco, but please explain that further. Do I buy them in bulk and then build the bouquets myself? Because that’s a little beyond my skill set.)
I want whiter teeth. Tell me how to do that. Will Crest White Strips make my teeth stripey and super sensitive? I read too many Amazon reviews about them (even though my uncle is a dentist and already gave me the run-down).
Registering would have been more fun if we didn’t live in a 12-square-foot one-bedroom New York City apartment. Blenders, food processors, stand mixers, and heart-shaped waffle makers are all precious — if you have a house in the country. We registered for things like “a small spoon” and “collapsible tupperware” and “Celine Dion Las Vegas show tickets” (not really on the last one, but maybe.)
Yes, I will be going for a run the morning of the wedding. Obviously.
I’m undecided on whether or not I want a veil. When the nice lady put a veil on me at the dress shop, I loved it. When she showed me how much it cost, I was less excited. I’m pretty picky about which veils I like (fingertip) and which ones I’m less into (any other kind), and when it comes to the budget, I’d rather spend the dollars on gold glitter high-tops than a piece of flimsy white see-through fabric. (Please give me your veil. Something borrowed.)
Before we get married, Brian has to do two things: He has to join me for a class at Lyons Den, and he has to come to a November Project workout. Two of the most important things in my life, and yet he hasn’t experienced either.
If on the morning of our wedding he hasn’t down-dogged and burpee-ed with me, I’m calling this shit off. I’m sure our friends and family will understand and will all come back to NYC when we announce that it’s back on and that Brian is newly addicted to both Crow Pose and running loops around Gracie Mansion.
Tyler is going to be our ring bearer. He is definitely allowed to wear his Elsa hair down the aisle. In fact, maybe I can ask him to fashion me some Elsa hair as a makeshift veil.
I am still obsessed with reading wedding magazines even though they aren’t very helpful or practical or inspiring. $9.99 for the latest issue of The Knot? Take my money!
We have officially put down enough deposits on various things that eloping is no longer on the table.
So we’ll see you in September. I’ll be the one in the white dress. Hopefully I still like it.
HERE’S A QUESTION: What am I forgetting to do? According to the checklists, a lot. According to you…?