Hawaii Part II: Maui!

Date: December 18, 2014 at 2:00 am- by Ali- Comment(s): 30

When we left off, Brian and I had just gotten engaged, which was a pretty awesome surprise. And, thanks to his meticulously planned itinerary that I didn’t ask any questions about because I’m lazy and was just along for the ride, we got a little honeymoon-type situation the day after his proposal! So after five wonderful and very active days in Oahu, we got to jet off to Maui for five days of relaxing and basking in our new little world of happiness and joy.

Here I am, in the world of happiness and joy. This was about an hour after we got engaged and I was like WAIT, WHAT? And also, MMMM GIMME AN OMELET.

Here I am, in the world of happiness and joy. This was about an hour after we got engaged and I was like WAIT, WHAT? And also, MMMM GIMME AN OMELET.

Again, these are the notes from my phone. These are not my post-vacation “I’ve had time to think about everything and really process it all” thoughts. They’re my brain vomit. And I will say that from this point on, the notes are much less “here is a nice, simple explanation of what we did” and much more “OMGGGGG so drunk off champagne all the time and everything is perfect.” You’ve been warned.

Proceed with patience…

Saturday, December 6: Was too excited to sleep at 4 AM. Got up at 6 and ran 5 incredible miles along the beach path in Honolulu toward Diamond Head. Shamelessly stared at my left hand a lot. Showered, packed my loads and loads of shit, returned rental car, got to airport, and boarded flight to Maui! Flight was roughly eight minutes long I think, but I forgot to time it. Landed, immediately got bags and rental car. Drove to Andaz Wailea and OMG. It’s the most amazing resort.

YEAH HI, WE'D LIKE THE ROOM WITH A VIEW, PLEASE.

YEAH HI, WE’D LIKE THE ROOM WITH A VIEW, PLEASE.

I am drunk off champagne but seriously. We were greeted by people who took my heavy suitcase and our big car and we got leis and the girl who checked us in was sooooo nice and she is invited to the wedding for sure.

Lei for me and lei for you. I can have a lei in my big brown shoe.

Lei for me and lei for you. I can have a lei in my big brown shoe.

They got our room ready and we drank lemonade with lavender, and our room was overlooking the ocean with a sexy rain shower. We went to the pool and I got a most amazing drink and we got food and then we went in the ocean.

That is Brian, attempting to swim away from me because I kept shoving my left hand in his face like an excited child who just ate a jar of Nutella.

That is Brian, attempting to swim away from me because I kept shoving my left hand in his face like an excited child who just ate a jar of Nutella. Cool photo NO FILTER. Really.

Went back to the room and Lone had sent us champagne! So special and nice.

"To the Future Mr. & Mrs. Cristiano." WHOA.

“To the Future Mr. & Mrs. Brian.” WHOA.

Then we drove to the bike shop and I took off my nail polish at a salon. Brian got his rental bike and then we came back and drank the bottle of champagne and FaceTimed with mom, and she was really wine drunk, and then we had a nice chat and then went to dinner at the resort where everyone was so nice.

HE'S HER LOBSTER. Which I say because it's true, and because of how red I look in this photo. In reality, I actually did not burn at all. Responsible sun-bathing!

HE’S HER LOBSTER. Which I say because it’s true, and because of how red I look in this photo. In reality, I actually did not burn at all. Responsible sun-bathing!

We got the best table outside and a live band played “All of You” by John Legend and I cried. Inhaled the lobster ceviche appetizer and was embarrassed by how fast I ate it. The waiter told me I was a “delicate little flower,” which was a lie he was making because I ate it all so fast. Got ahi as my entree and Brian got risotto. Passed out drunk.

Sunday, December 7: Up early so I could run and Brian could ride up Haleakala. Beautiful idiot. That doesn’t sound fun at all. Idiot whom I love and is ambitious while I just want to lay down. The run was lovely even though the heat killed me and I walked a lot.

Lava rocks. I basically survived a volcano eruption, as you can see from this photo. I'm OK. I am a survivor. A thriver.

Lava rocks. I basically survived a volcano eruption, as you can see from this photo. I’m OK. I am a survivor. A thriver.

Spent the day alone by the pool and cooked my skin (I WORE SUNSCREEN, DAD, DON’T WORRY) and made friends, and ate grilled cheese with waffle fries. Went back to the room around 3:30, opened up the doors to let the fresh air in, did a load of free laundry at the hotel score, turned on computer for the first time all trip. Bird flew into the room. Stared at me. Got dinner when Brian got back at Morimoto. Such good, fresh fish! Got drinks with college friend who is also in Hawaii. Sleep.

Seen on my run: Big Beach. That's what it's called. Because it's accurate.

Seen on my run: Big Beach. That’s what it’s called. Because it’s accurate.

Monday, December 8: Too excited to sleep again. Finally got up around 7:30 AM. Shared engagement news on social media. Stared at phone and computer in bed for a while enjoying all the love.

Housekeeping loves love. THEY DID THIS, NOT ME. Because I am not creative.

Housekeeping loves love. THEY DID THIS, NOT ME. Because I am not creative.

Ate at amazing hotel buffet. Got a custom chocolate chip pancake, pork bun with scrambled egg, and so much tasty food. Got attacked by a bird. He ate the doughnut right out of my hand!!! I screamed and everyone stared and Brian said that was his second favorite part of the trip.

#cleaneats #paleo

#cleaneats #paleo

Went snorkeling! Brian loved it, which made me happy. I am afraid of the ocean and don’t really like fish, and I saw a death piranha barracuda and freaked out, then I was done.

The worst thing is getting attacked by a bird at breakfast. The second worst thing is getting eaten alive by a death barracuda piranha.

The worst thing is getting attacked by a bird at breakfast. The second worst thing is getting eaten alive by a death barracuda piranha.

Drove around through the lava rocks and then laid out by the hotel pool for a bit. Swam, then showered, got yummy sandwiches from the hotel, and hit the road to Haleakala! Drove up through the clouds, which was crazy cool (hey isn’t that a TLC album?), and couldn’t believe Brian rode up it the day before. I just don’t see how that is fun.

Ali: "I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!" Brian: "I am actually not interested in marrying you anymore!"

Ali: “I’M THE KING OF THE WORLD! TAKE MY PICTURE!” Brian: “I am actually not interested in marrying you anymore!”

The view of the crater and the world below from the top was beyond anything I have ever seen.

I would walk 10,000 feet and I would walk 10,000 more just to be the girl who wears white pants then sits in dirt and that's what happened. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da dun da da dun da da dun da da dun da daaaaa!

I would walk 10,000 feet and I would walk 10,000 more just to be the girl who wears white pants then sits in dirt and that’s what happened. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da dun da da dun da da dun da da dun da daaaaa!

The sunset was so beautiful I almost cried actual tears.

Thinking about life. Thinking about how cold it was at the top of that mountain. Thinking we should have brought blankets. Thinking about snowsuits.

Thinking about life. Thinking about how cold it was at the top of that mountain. Thinking we should have brought blankets. Thinking about snowsuits.

Then it got dark, we saw the sky full of stars (like that Coldplay song), and embarked on the hour-long drive back down.

You know what everyone had at the top of Haleakala? Selfie sticks. EVERYONE BUT US. But we had strangers who agreed to take our photo. Even better.

You know what everyone had at the top of Haleakala? Selfie sticks. EVERYONE BUT US. But we had strangers who agreed to take our photo. Even better.

I tried to be helpful at every switchback by yelling SLOW DOWN and dramatically gripping the side of the passenger seat. Then had dinner again at Morimoto. Brian got drunk off four sakes and said, “I like these big spoons. They’re like shovels…to my mouth.” Got some doughnuts for dessert. Did not get attacked by a bird. Good day.

Ali: "I'M STILL THE KING OF THE WORLD!" Brian: "I am still definitely leaving you at the top of this mountain and taking that ring back down with me. Later, crazy."

Ali: “I’M STILL THE KING OF THE WORLD!” Brian: “I am still definitely leaving you at the top of this mountain and taking that ring back down with me.”

Tuesday, December 9: Last full day wahhhhhhh. Finally adjusted to the five-hour time change. Perfect. Woke up around 7:30 AM, did a quick lift at the gym, then ran a great 8 miles along the beach path.

Sooooo I'm into Garmin photos now...

Sooooo I’m into Garmin photos now…

Loved it! But it was narrow and got crowded with leisurely olds out taking a morning stroll. Then I had to do some work. It’s fine.

Palm trees.

Palm trees.

Laid out at the adult pool and got an adult grilled cheese and it had garlic in it. I dipped it in ranch dressing. Low point or high point? Whatever, delicious.

Brian came back from his bike ride and we went kayaking! I sat in the front and did all the work. The way out into the wind was really challenging for me and my lack of upper body strength. On the way back, I fake paddled but really I was just sitting there and not helping. Then we swam in the ocean and laid out by a new-to-us pool for a bit.

Thennnn showered and went off to dinner at Mama’s Fish House, which people rave about. Brian said a lot of nice things when we sat down at dinner, and that made me happy, and the outside of the restaurant was very cool and right on the water with big waves.

Sweet photo. Came out really great. This is our engagement photo. SEND IT TO THE CONCORD MONITOR, MOM. Make sure they don't crop out the snowman or the surfboard.

Sweet photo. Came out really great. This is our engagement photo. SEND IT TO THE CONCORD MONITOR, MOM. Make sure they don’t crop out the snowman or the surfboard.

My favorite dish was the sashimi three ways. Salmon, and ahi, and ono, OH YES. The crab cake was good, too. And the champagne. And the cocktail.

Five straight days of champagne, pretty much. Didn't hate it.

When I spend a lot of time in the sun, my skin gets very tan and my hair gets very blonde. So basically, my eyebrows disappear. It’s a really cute look.

Then we drove home, I packed my 3,583-pound suitcase, and now it is our last night in Hawaii. It is a real tragedy.

Brian The Creep took this. Snoozin, sweet dreamin, smilin.

Brian took this. Snoozin, sweet dreamin, smilin. Also, I have never colored my hair and yet it looks like I have tiger stripes in there. Why? My mom calls them my “natural highlights,” but I call them kind of spastic.

Wednesday, December 10: Up at 5:30 AM to make the most of our last few hours. Ran along the beach path, which was really nice because I beat the heat and could finally run most of the little hills instead of walking them. Strength. Agility. Power.

Joined Brian by the pool for 30 minutes, took a work call, and proceeded to shower and get ready to leave the happiest place on earth. Did a little gift shopping and got the famous fish tacos at Coconuts. They put an apostrophe in “Coconut’s” which I don’t like, but I guess Coconut is the name of a cat or something and he owns all the tacos. Tacocat spelled backward is tacocat.

Easy flight from Maui to Honolulu, had a quick layover and got burgers from Gordon Biersch, then Brian bought me a lei.

I went to Hawaii and all I got was this tan and this lei and this diamond.

I went to Hawaii and all I got was this tan and this lei and this diamond. And I packed 68 lbs. worth of stuff in my suitcase, but forgot to pack my EYEBROWS.

Then we boarded the stupid plane for the stupid red-eye flight home.

In like a rainbow, out like also a rainbow. So many rainbows.

In like a rainbow, out like also a rainbow. So many rainbows.

Spent a while doing freelance work, then took an Ambien. It worked.

Welp. The Ambien worked. And evidently this is how I slept for six hours.

Welp. The Ambien worked. And evidently this is how I slept for six hours.

Got some solid but sort of shitty sleep and woke up in time for our 6 AM descent into New York. My teeth felt slimy and my breath tasted horrible. Yay New York yay. Then I brushed my teeth and went to work.

The end.

How great would we look slow dancing for the first time as a married couple to the Celine Dion version of "God Bless America?" So good, right? I know.

How great would we look slow dancing for the first time as a married couple to the Celine Dion version of “God Bless America?” So good, right? I know. Think about it.

BUT IT’S ONLY THE BEGINNING, AWWWWW.

You probably didn’t miss “Hawaii Part I: Oahu,” but just in case. Here you go.

30 Responses to "Hawaii Part II: Maui!"

Lynn Carlson says: December 18, 2014 at 2:32 pm

Your #cleaneats look like a dream! Apparently I need to up my game and start eating healthier too. πŸ˜‰ Great photos and stories!

Oh I love this. and I seriously wish I was in Hawaii right now!!! SO HARD to come back to reality isn’t it?!

Obsessed with that ring (and your blog – you are hilarious!) Congrats!

Cheryl Acevedo says: December 18, 2014 at 3:51 pm

You are such an excellent writer! Love your blog – I say this every time I know. Also I feel like there needs to be a part 3. I’m not ready for it to be over!!

that was my favorite post ever.
more drunk writing.

That can be arranged. BRB ON IT.

What a great trip!!! Wow. So happy for you both. Yes more drunk posts.. You are a fantastic writer. I wait for your posts. They always brighten my day. Stay happy!

LOVED your recap! I LOLed several times and now I can’t wait to go to Hawaii! Congrats on the engagement!

Hahaha I might love this post even more than part 1! Hilarious
You are an amazing wordsmith

You so deserved this hol after missing out last year. And I’ve the same nail colour πŸ™‚

I’m so happy for your engagement and your trip and the past 3 posts for sure. I was so disappointed when you didn’t go to Hawaii last year, mostly because it is coincidentally when my husband and I were there and I was hoping I would randomly run into you and get to meet you! So happy for healthy posts, fantastic trips, and engagement rings! Congrats, Ali! You deserve it. I have Crohn’s, too and I get it!

Darn you…I just spent the evening checking out Easter flights to Maui!!

I’m so happy for you both! You look so happy. And that gray dress is killer on you.

Your sense of humor cracks me up everytime! I was laughing throughout this post with all your captions. And now I reallllyyyy want to go to Hawaii!!!!!

Congrats Ali! What an amazing and sweet story. Love the live play by play.

One of my all-time favorite posts. Your caption about forgetting to pack your eyebrows made me lol at work. Thanks for that πŸ˜‰ Geez!

This made me giggle so many times. Such a fun post! Also, I can’t believe you went to work after that red-eye flight. Mad props for that.

YAY!!
I’ve been reading your blog (because Fellow Crohnser and wish I liked to run). This entry should definitely have been flagged NSFW because I burst out laughing LOUD in my cubicle at least three times. OH My Gosh the 10,000 feet song….makes me giggle every time. So fun to read your stuff. Yay for Ali and Brian who I don’t know, but feel like I do.

Teeehee I seriously LOL’d at the Ambien photo…too funny. This trip sounds AMAZING x10000, and you two are too cute for words. Congrats again!!

My fiancΓ© and I are staying at the Andaz Wailea for part of our honeymoon in May…wish I could fast forward to the day before our wedding. That way we’d be almost in Hawaii and all of the wedding planning would be done πŸ™‚

Congrats!

SELFIE STICKS ARE THE WORST WHY ARE THOSE A THING? I saw some chick with one at the Boathouse and wanted to rip it out of her hands. What is this world coming to?

All those photos look amazing!! SO jealous πŸ™‚ now I need a vacation

Congrats on the engagement again. I would be drunk off champagne for weeks!

Also, lemonade with lavender? Whaaaaaa?

YAY this is lovely and perfect in every way, minus the birds, my #1 phobia. (Last weekend my boyfriend tossed a bread crumb to nice little sea bird at my feet, and I CRIED. Actual tears.)

Grilled cheese and ranch sounds like a fine decision. KEEP IT UP!

I really liked these posts. A lot. I also really liked #cleaneats #paleo. Grilled cheese with garlic and ranch made my mouth water. =)

Congratulations! What a fun engagement story you have!

We stayed at the Andaz in April and it was incredible. I was loving your food reviews as I totally indulged in the lobster grilled cheese, breakfast buffet & tons of drinks by the adults-only pool. Can’t wait to go back. And a huge congrats on the engagement!!

Congratulations!

Monica Keirn says: December 30, 2014 at 1:14 pm

I seriously got verklempt while reading this. Three times. And I’m at WORK!

This means I’m invited, right?

Congratulations to you both, Ali! Yay! I just got engaged a few months ago, and my fiance is from Maui so I have enjoyed that island immensely when I visit him. πŸ™‚ Beautiful place. I,too, was crazy cold when I went up Haleakala and watched the sunrise. It was so incredibly cold. But worth it. Just wish I would have brought my snow coat to Maui. Go figure.