One More Day I Get To Run

Date: October 11, 2014 at 4:31 pm- by Ali- Comment(s): 24

Tomorrow, I will run my fourth marathon.

This marathon feels so different from the previous three.

The first one — the Hamptons Marathon — was significant in every way. My training was perfect, I felt in the best shape of my life, and what they say is true: You never forget your first. That day remains the most perfect, most special day of my life. I got to cross the finish line and land right in the arms of my boyfriend and my family.

Just gonna collapse here real quick. Hold me up. PS This is not the worst at which you will ever see me, Brian. Get on board.

Just gonna collapse here real quick. Hold me up. PS This is not the worst at which you will ever see me, Brian. Get on board.

The second one, a little more than a year later, was a fluke of a marathon. I was supposed to run the New York City Marathon, my training got hijacked by a serious Crohn’s flare-up and a hospital stay, and then Hurricane Sandy hit, and the marathon was canceled. I salvaged just enough training to get by, though it lacked speedwork or intensity, and I ended up running the Manchester City Marathon with one of the greatest runners I know by my side the entire way. I ran a PR that day, shaving more than 20 minutes off my Hamptons time.

VICTORY WAS MINE. Or, you know, a PR.

VICTORY WAS MINE. Or, you know, a PR.

My third marathon, again a year later, was my victory lap. I’d had the year from hell with my health, and I was fresh off medical leave when the New York City Marathon rolled around. I was still experiencing a mild flare during the race and had to make three bathroom stops within the first 12 miles, but I ran 26.2 miles throughout my home city, and it felt incredible. Second happiest day of my life.

The happiest runner there ever was.

The happiest runner there ever was.

Now here we are, on the eve of my fourth marathon — the Steamtown Marathon — and I feel calm. All I am hoping for is an equally calm stomach. But I don’t feel pressure to do anything incredible. I have no specific time goal. No one to impress. I feel happy and at peace. I feel ready. Tomorrow is just one more day I get to run.

I'm worried the line between thinking "aw, cute photo!" and "whoa, I wanna punch that face!" is a very thin one.

I’m worried the line between thinking “aw, cute photo!” and “whoa, I wanna punch that face!” is a very thin one.

This year started off horribly for me. I thought I was getting better around the time of the marathon last year, but I never truly got out of that flare. I had to stop running on Thanksgiving. By late January, I couldn’t leave my apartment. I took a full two weeks off work in an attempt to rest, recover, and actually take care of myself.

Faking happiness during a Skype session with my parents. Also down about 20 lbs. from my normal weight. Yikes.

Faking happiness during a Skype session with my parents. Also down about 20 lbs. from my normal weight. And very sad on the inside. Yikes.

In February, I enrolled in a clinical trial.

By March, I could run again.

Slowly. Wobbly-ly. Awkwardly.

But damnit, I was running. And I was doing it with a renewed sense of appreciation and gratitude.

I think I've run out of "NYC Reservoir Shot" captions.

I think I’ve run out of “NYC Reservoir Shot” captions.

In February, I couldn’t get off the couch, except to wither away in the bathroom.

On October 12, I will run my fourth marathon.

It’s not my victory lap. The second half of this year has already felt like a victory lap. As soon as that mystery drug kicked in, I was like a new person.

Oh just running. Casual. What camera?

Oh just running. Casual. What camera?

I was my “old self” again, but with a clearer head and a stronger heart. Every day felt magical. Every run was a success, even though almost all of them still involved one — or a dozen — bathroom stops.

After two years of being too afraid to make plans solo, let alone with friends, I found a little voice in my head that said, “Go ahead. Register for a fall marathon.”

BAM.

BAM.

I never doubted whether I’d make it to this start line.

I never put pressure on myself to run. I loved waking up every day and running. There were days when I was so tired, days when the sun showed no signs of showing up during the run, days when my stomach gave me a real run for my mental money. But I loved every mile of this training.

I can think of no better post-long run active recovery method.

I can think of no better post-long run active recovery method.

I could have done more hill training, specifically downhill training specific to the Steamtown course. I should’ve strength trained more, foam rolled more, maybe done a few longer tempos instead of mostly short interval work. Still, I ran a shit-ton of miles, and I’m arriving at the start line healthy. How about that?

OLIVE. GARDEN. BREADSTICKS. Can I get a hell yeah? This is the perfect food, probably.

OLIVE. GARDEN. BREADSTICKS. Can I get a hell yeah? This is the perfect food, probably.

I was able to complete a 12-week training program — something that hasn’t been possible since my first marathon training cycle — and while OK, I could have pushed harder, better, faster, stronger, I did every workout, every mile, every recovery day. I analyzed paces without obsessing over them, and never harped on a workout.

And now, on the day before Steamtown, I feel more calm than I ever have before a race. On Friday, before driving up to Scranton, PA, I slept in a bit, and then went up to the roof of my apartment building hoping to catch a few minutes of hardcore serenity before the weekend kicked off.

WHO WANTS TO HAVE A POST-MARATHON SLEEPOVER AND THEN WE CAN WAKE UP TO GO TO THE ROOF TO SEE THE SUNRISE AND ALSO WE CAN HAVE CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES? And string cheese.

WHO WANTS TO HAVE A POST-MARATHON SLEEPOVER AND THEN WE CAN WAKE UP TO GO TO THE ROOF TO SEE THE SUNRISE AND ALSO WE CAN HAVE CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES? And string cheese.

I ran three miles to my happiest places…

My happy place. I say that about a lot of spots, but this one is really it.

My happy place. I say that about a lot of spots, but this one is really it.

…and spent some time pondering life and this year, and generally feeling lucky.

I may have reached a new level of crazy on Friday when I talked — out loud this time — to Bernie and thanked him for always being there for me. I gave him a fist bump when no one was looking and YES I KNOW HE IS A BENCH.

I may have reached a new level of crazy on Friday when I talked — out loud this time — to Bernie and thanked him for always being there for me. I gave him a fist bump when no one was looking and YES I KNOW HE IS A BENCH.

I’ve had my Race Day Playlist on repeat for three days straight…

SCREEN SHOT #1. CAPTION: NAILED IT.

SCREEN SHOT #1. CAPTION: NAILED IT.

There are five songs that go on every race playlist I've ever made. Can you name them?

There are five songs that go on every race playlist I’ve ever made. Can you name them?

…and I have the shoes, the legwarmers, the outfit, and the Body Glide all on standby.

The options... (Decided on the light gray Oiselle tank. It's the softest thing I've ever felt EVER. Softer than a newborn puppy wrapped in fleece. For real.)

The options… (Decided on the light gray Oiselle tank. It’s the softest thing I’ve ever felt EVER. Softer than a newborn puppy wrapped in fleece. For real.)

I’m sure the nerves will kick in at some point during my luscious Outback Steakhouse dinner in a few hours, but so far I’ve survived the taper with only one night of Race Day Nightmares (I forgot to sync and charge my iPod Shuffle, and I drank a sip of a mystery drink my mom had in her car that I assumed was water but wasn’t and then panicked about how it might affect my stomach) and no major meltdowns. I’ve been my normal amount of bitch, I got tons of sleep, and I basked in being quite lazy. I decorated the apartment for fall. I bought autumnal pillows with owls on them. And I painted my nails.

The color on my toes is called "Break A Legwarmer," so this race is a lock, don't you think?

The color on my toes is called “Break A Legwarmer,” so this race is a lock, don’t you think?

I have felt a tremendous amount of support this year, and I’d be an asshole if I didn’t give a few shout-outs here. Bethany, Anne, Zovig, all the beautiful November Project souls, Lucy (my very best tiger partner in so much crime), Emily Faherty, AlBurke, Michael and Birthday Girl Blair, Matt Powers (I promise to push it on the straights tomorrow), Steve Mura, Girls’ Club, Paul-tatopia, all my DickCats, Trainer M-Con 4 lyfe (Devendorf), Doorman Kevin (who congratulates me on every run, every morning, as if I’ve just won the Boston Marathon), Coach John, Mom, Dad, Ryan, Michaela, Tyler, Abigail, and of course, the man who puts up with all my literal and figurative shit, Brian. You are all my game-changers, my rocks, my endless sources of positivity and optimism, my very best support system. I’m the luckiest brat in the world.

Carrie, Alison Feller, Paul (we got those little glasses in the giveaway bags...strange), and Jillian. This is Girls' Club.

(Left to Right) Carrie, Alison Feller, Paul (we got those little glasses in the giveaway bags…strange), and Jillian. This is Girls’ Club.

And to you: The people who read, cheer me on, and make me believe I can have a little purpose and positive impact in this world. I cherish you. (Ew, that sounds so creepy and cheesy-weird, but I mean it. Trust me.)

See you on the other side of 26.2. I’ll be the one in hot pink legwarmers. But you knew that already.

24 Responses to "One More Day I Get To Run"

What a beautiful post! Good luck tomorrow! I think we do our best running when we are in the mental place you are in … No time goals and just grateful to be running. No matter what the day brings you, you have already won! I’m running my eighth marathon tomorrow and this was such a wonderful reminder of the things that are truly important! Enjoy your day! xoxo

I am so very glad that you are doing well.

We cherish YOU. My stomach is in butterflies and I can’t WAIT to read about this race day!

Ali, good luck tomorrow!! I’m the fan from the Bx 10 miler. So good to meet you on person, however briefly. You’ll do awesome! Thanks for inspiring me to run, you really do.

I started reading your blog about a year ago, right after I was diagnosed with Crohn’s. You are such an inspiration and I can’t wait to hear about your race!!

Jennifer S. says: October 11, 2014 at 8:38 pm

Good luck Ali! You will be awesome!

Good luck tomorrow! You are amazing and such an inspiration to everyone. It will be my 4th marathon in two weeks and so happy I read this. It is another day we get to run…

Good luck, and have fun!

Have fun tomorrow!! No luck needed!

Also, really appreciate the centerstage reference, they’re so underappreciated 🙂

Woohoo! Go Ali! Have fun tomorrow – I’ll be cheering you on from afar!

Hope you have a rocking time at the race and enjoy every minute. I will be cheering you on from across the ocean!

Good luck! Great to see that your are doing well.. Its all uphill from here

Ally – I’m totally dying here wondering how it went! Please don’t leave us hanging! Hope you are basking in a post epic marathon food fest. Waiting for your recap! See you out there.

I would wish you good luck but by now you will have finished. I hope it was fantastic and i really can’t wait to hear all about it. it is so good to have the old Ali back 🙂

Ali, I love your blog and absolutely adore this playlist–I can’t believe I’m not the only one who thinks Glee and showtunes are the ideal running jams!! I made a Spotify version of your playlist for inspiration–here it is if anyone wants it. http://open.spotify.com/user/122413461/playlist/762SDJUjZRBEuZXdYNQKFF

Rock that race, girl, and keep on running! Lots of internet love from Boston.

96,000 yesssssss

I’ve been reading your blog for a while, and you are such an inspiration! Way to knock out another 26.2! You’re incredible and I hope the day went well for you.

You truly are an inspiration!Although I don’t know you, I feel like I do, and I KNOW we would be the best of friends singing, dancing, eating string cheese and nutella and frocliking all over NYC! Hope yesterday went well….You have SO many people who are inspired and proud of you! Including this kid from Canada!

I can’t wait to hear how it went. We have been doing the #familycamping thing all weekend, so I am behind.

thank you thank you thank you for posting your playlist! desperately need some new tunes and this is perfect.

read your instagram update, and am excited to hear about the race, even if it didn’t turn out as you planned. you’re still SO AWESOME.

Love it!!! So glad to read this. And love the play list. Post the recap!!

So happy for you, Ali!

“Pompeii” is my mantra for 2014 – “How am I going to be an optimist about this?”

You go!!!!