Desperately Seeking Optimism

Date: April 1, 2013 at 7:08 am- by Ali- Comment(s): 72

Let’s get the cheesy stuff out of the way first…

From the very bottom of my diseased little heart, thank you all so much for your kind comments, your sweet thoughts and your nice Tweets. Being ill sucks, but every time I received a bit of online love, my heart swelled…just like my intestines. So truly, thank you for thinking of me and for being on Team Free Ali From Mount Sinai.

And I am free from Mount Sinai!

Being beautiful in the hospital with my friend Dragon.

Being beautiful in the hospital with my friend Dragon.

My hospital visit was short, though not at all sweet. And, unfortunately, not at all successful.

I was admitted Wednesday night around 10 PM, and despite my hesitation at getting admitted during the night shift, the night nurses were amazing. Last time I was in the hospital, I had terrible luck with the nurses on my floor. They were mean, they messed up my medicine time after time and I swear they were making me sicker.

This time around, I had delightful nurses and it made a huge difference. I’m big on bedside manner, and theirs was the tops. Do people say, “the tops” anymore? They should.

So after getting admitted, Night Nurse Karen immediately got my IV in (painless!) and started the fluid IV. This was my miracle drug. For days I had been so exhausted, dehydrated and fever-ed, and after 24 hours with the fluid IV I felt somewhat alive again. It made a huge difference.

I took in two big bags of this fluid. I would like to continue getting this "treatment" daily, please...

I took in two big bags of this fluid. I would like to continue getting this “treatment” daily, please…

Wednesday night was a bit rough: I was admitted into a shared room, and I was in the bed furthest from the bathroom. A tough thing in life is when you’re having bathroom “urgency,” and you’re hooked up to an IV, so you have to unplug it, untangle your wires and book it past your roommate — wheely IV-stand in tow — to get into the bathroom. Life is hard.

Also, my “bed” wasn’t so much a bed as it was an air mattress. I guess they use these for people with poor circulation sometimes? Is that right, Susan? So every 90 seconds the air mattress would vibrate and shift slightly, and do you know what you don’t want when you already have an unsettled stomach? Vibration and rumbling. Night Nurse Karen was like, “No probz, Ali girl, I’ll just unplug this bad boy so you can get your sleepy time on!”

Do you know what happens when you unplug your “hospital bed?”

It deflates.

So there was that.

Plus the night sweats.

Plus Night Nurse Man Who’s Name I Didn’t Catch Because I Refused To Open My Eyes To Talk To Him came in at 3 AM to take my vitals and steal more of my blood. Gotta love handing over your veins at 3 AM…

Then, at 3:30 AM, Night Nurse Karen came in and said, “A bed opened up and we need to move you into a private room because of your diarrhea.” I try to avoid using that word because it’s descriptive, but there’s just no way around it here. I got my own room because of my disease. And my urgency.

By the time I got re-settled in my new room with a real bed, I was shot, and I slept until 8:30 AM. That was amazing. Exhaustion is the best.

This is what they brought me for lunch. Completely inedible. Hospital food makes people sicker, I think.

This is what they brought me for lunch. Completely inedible. Hospital food makes people sicker, I think.

The on-call GI team came in to meet with me after I woke up and they asked all the questions that I swear should be on my chart…can’t they just read my chart? I really disliked the on-call GI head dude. He wanted me to get a billion tests, including another MRI, which I just had (and did not do well with) when I was admitted in August.

I sort of freaked out when he told me I was going to be in the hospital for 2–3 more days, and panicked further when he said he wasn’t going to give me the Remicade…which was the reason my doctor admitted me. He wanted to take his own course of action, and I wasn’t on board with that, and I was sweating, so I called Dr. Beautiful in a panic and left a really gentle 10-minute message on his secretary’s voicemail.

Guess what Dr. Delightful did instead of calling me back?

He showed up.

I just about kissed him when he walked in. What a stand-up guy.

I explained my concerns with what the other doctor said, and Dr. Amazing was like, “No, I agree with you. We don’t need to do all those tests. Let’s get you some Double Dose Remicade.”

I tried to kiss him again, but he said something about having to go to India for 10 days. Probably the lamest excuse any guy has ever given me, but fine.

So then I got Remicade x 2 and I was feeling great. Not physically, but mentally I was finally feeling like something was going to work, and I was going to leave the hospital just like last time, feeling perfect and ready to tackle the world + 26.2 miles.

UNRELATED TYLER PHOTO MEANT TO BRING YOU JOY.

UNRELATED TYLER PHOTO MEANT TO BRING YOU JOY.

The Remicade infusion was done by 3:30, but the pre-infusion Benadryl IV knocked me out so hard that I slept for two more hours before I could drag myself home.

I was happy to wake up in my own bed on Friday and was giddy at the prospect of having a body full of Remicade. I know that if it’s going to work, it’s going to work within 12–24 hours of the infusion.

But 12 hours later, I didn’t feel any better.

And 24 hours later…and now days later…my stomach is still the same.

Drinking my juice, trying to get healthy and stuff.

Drinking my juice, trying to get healthy and stuff. If you leave me home alone for weeks at a time, I will take many self portraits. I don’t really know what else to do with myself in times like these…

I don’t think the Remicade worked. And I don’t think it’s going to work.

So here we are.

This weekend was hard for me. It was the first spring-like weekend in NYC, and I was supposed to go to Rhode Island to spend Easter with Brian’s family. I wasn’t up for it, so I didn’t go.

Instead, I spent the weekend alone on the couch, feeling sorry for myself and hating everyone.

Last one, promise. At this point, I had not showered in a few days...and my hair has never looked better.

Last one, promise. At this point, I had not showered in a few days…and my hair has never looked better.

The whole time I have been sick, I haven’t thought much about working out. It’s so clear my body needs total rest, and for the most part I couldn’t even lift my head from my pillow, let alone tie my Adrenalines and get out the door. Running was hardly on my mind and I was OK with it.

But on Saturday, the world ran long while I PR’d in couching.

All weekend, I felt depressed. It’s common for people with Crohn’s disease to feel this way — or so I’ve read. You feel like you have no control over your life and you feel like you’ll never live “normally” again. It’s hard and while I’ve handled it well in the past, lately I’ve lost much of the optimism I’ve often prided myself on.

By Sunday, I picked myself up slightly. I went for a little walk…

My happiest place...

My happiest place…

…and tried to enjoy life beyond my living room.

I sat on a bench at Engineers’ Gate watching all the happy people go by on their bikes and their feet. I alternated between feeling happy to be breathing fresh air in the park and upset that I wasn’t being active myself.

I basked in the tiny victory of not having a fever all weekend — and then last night it was back up to 100.6 and I was back to sleeping in a burrito-towel wrap. The fever wasn’t sky-high, but it was elevated enough to make me feel like I took one skip forward and one sad shuffle right back.

I’m reminding myself that I’m strong. I tell myself this is all a test, and it’s one I will ultimately pass. I remind myself that last year was hard at times, too, but then I ran a 22-minute marathon PR and spent the holidays with Tiny Tyler.

Checking his Twitter feed.

Checking his Twitter feed.

My mental stability is fragile at best right now. I can go from feeling hugely positive to completely defeated in minutes. I keep reminding myself — and anyone who’s daring enough to listen — that I’m just doing my best. That’s all I can do.

I’m not sure what happens next. I kind of can’t believe that I am still sick after leaving the hospital. It was supposed to be my miracle cure…but it wasn’t. It didn’t work.

Dr. Dreamy really is away for the next 10 days, curing sick kids in India or something (he is a good human), and I’d rather not reach out to the “other guy” he said I could call if I needed anything. We’ve talked about switching over to Humira, which is a self-injection drug that tends to work for people who “no longer respond to Remicade.”

I’m juicing most of my meals and I’m hoping to make it back to the office this week for at least a few hours at a time.

I had some fun with the juicer this weekend. Turns out, I'm terrible at "combining flavors" and figuring out which fruits and vegetables taste great together.

I had some fun with the juicer this weekend. Turns out, I’m terrible at “combining flavors” and figuring out which fruits and vegetables taste great together.

I hate all the healthy people and I love anyone who wants to tell me that they, too, spent every single minute this weekend avoiding physical activity.

Love you/hate you!

But mostly love you. Promise.

Someday this will be Ali On The Run again. Today’s not that day, but I’m sure it’s coming up soon.

72 Responses to "Desperately Seeking Optimism"

You know, I was thinking about you this weekend, when I was in bed with a horrible stomach ache and a 102.8 fever. I don’t know how you stay so strong.

I keep expecting positive news from you to come up in my Reader. Sorry that you’re still feeling so sick. You’ll come out of this a much stronger person, I’m sure. You’re still smiling in all the self-portraits so that’s gotta be a good thing! Stay strong!

Oh Ali, I hope you can finally punch Crohn’s in the face soon. I’ve been in bed since Thursday with fevers and what may or may not be strep (all of the symptoms except for the actual positive strep test). I felt terrible all weekend and had my first 0 mile weekend in months.

Sending so many hugs and healing vibes to you! I don’t know how you stay so strong all the time…I think I’d just be in a corner crying into a bottle wine.

I didn’t do ANYTHING physical this weekend either. No, not sick….just was in dire need of some downtime, after being out of town, training hard for the last few weeks, having my husband’s friend live with us for two weeks (before my mother in law comes on Fri!). And so I drank mimosas and took naps on my couch. And ran a grand total of 13mi this week. *facepalm* And I think I’m running a marathon in June?!?!

Yikes-I don’t know how you do it, girl. I know you are sad and angry inside, but you keep your humor and wit. Even if your awesome doctor is saving kids’ lives in India, I am sure he has got something in the works for you. Keep strong, lady!

What does your doctor say? Is he really surprised you aren’t feeling better? Does he have any ideas other than Humira? I am so sorry you are still so sick. I hope Brian is taking great care of you. And I know I am not on your level at all, but I’m starting a three-day juice fast tomorrow because I’ve been in constant pain for over a month now. Nothing like what you’re experiencing, but maybe you won’t hate me because I too will be juicing in hopes of getting some comfort.

He’s equally as surprised and frustrated as I am. The test I did showed that I don’t have antibodies to the Remicade, so scientifically-speaking, it should be working…and it’s not. I’m not opposed to Humira, so that’s a possible option. The doctor also mentioned several clinical trials I could be enrolled in, though that makes me a little nervous. Sorry you’re not feeling well 🙁 Get some rest, let your body heal and enjoy the juices.

Nice to see your pretty face!! How in the world does your hair look that good after days of no washing? I would look like a homeless person and would have enough grease to fry an egg!! I wish I had some optimism to send you … Or that I could actually punch Crohn’s in the face. Here’s to the hope that you get relief soon!!

All of our hospital beds are like that! (Well, all the “floor” aka “not as sick” [sorry…] are. The step down and ICU beds are extra fancy…)

It’s supposed to help prevent pressure ulcers and such, although that doesn’t work so it mainly just annoys people. Annnnd the only way to stop it is to unplug the bed…which deflates the mattress and you can use the controls to move the head up and down. For as expensive as those things are, you think they’d be a little better…

One of the hospitals I did clinicals at during nursing school had AMAZING food. It was also in a rich part of Chicago…but patients actually ate! Amazing. You should talk to Kelly about hospital food…

After all that babble…sorry the hospital didn’t help as planned! Are you opposed to Humira? Do you need a private nurse to come do the injections? Just let me know, I’ll be right there!

Honestly, if we do go the Humira route, I will 100% need your assistance. I was watching videos of how to do the injections last night and while I’d love to say I’m tough enough to do that, the reality is that I’m…not. So please be on call exclusively for me.

I was off for 2 weeks and just read it is not getting better for you. I am sorry. It will get better eventually. I am thinking of you and sending you good energy for you to stay strong.

Hang in there Ali, your body will turn a corner and you’ll be back to your usual self. Chronic illness is the worst but you are kick ass and with the help of Dr Beautiful you can kick Crohn’s ass too. Thinking of you!

Gahh you are one strong lady. I would be hating my life and everyone in it if I were in your situation. I really hope things get better soon! In the mean time, keep up that juicing and pull an Adam Sandler in Big Daddy by sabotaging the roller bladers in Central Park. Ok, don’t do that. But feel better.

Beth @RxBethOnTheRun says: April 1, 2013 at 9:18 am

Well, not that I would compare my stupid, apparently never ending, virus to anything you have been going through….but you can love me because I. too, spent every single minute this weekend avoiding physical activity. My big outing of the weekend was going to get tea on Saturday, which only landed me back on the couch with a fever again. And then by resting and doing nothing yesterday, I was rewarded with a fever of 100.6 as well. I suppose my big goals and dreams for running Cherry Blossom this weekend are out the window. But seriously, I’m so sorry the hospital and the Remicade didn’t help and you are still feeling so sick. Maybe it’s time to try Humira? How would you feel about switching? I really do hope you feel better soon, friend!

Ali, stay tough! Lots of us are cheering for your speedy recovery. Hang in there! I know you’ll be up and clocking PRs again before you know it.

Tennille says: April 1, 2013 at 9:23 am

Just like you I stopped following a bunch of blogs because they were just wastes of my reading time, but yours remains because I’m always inspired by your optimism (even if you’re being impatient with your lack of optimism). Even though it doesn’t compare it was great to check in with you when I was sidelined by an injury, and be reminded that life and running is *usually the greatest! I’m so sorry you’re not feeling well. I’ll be crossing my fingers hoping for the best for you!

*usually – because if it didn’t suck sometime we may not realize it.

I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling so bad 🙁 I hope that you are feeling better very soon!

I’m so sorry you’re still feeling icky! I totally laughed at your “sure, take my blood at 3am” comment. When I was in the hospital, I became a pro at sleeping sitting up as they took my vitals and blood at 2am every night. Nightmare.

First of all, you get an A+ for pulling out the fancy juice glasses, lady. It took my years to realize we could get TWICE the use of our fancy glasses if we simply used them for breakfast AND dinner. Duh!

And you? Well, with all the juice you seem to be drinking, your cost/glass must be rapidly decreasing. WAY TO GET THE BEST VALUE, Ali. Bam – bonus points!

And? Lots of people would love a private room. You just happen to have an illness that wins you one. SCORE!

You’re on a roll, girl. The healing has got to follow suit. *fingers crossed*

Easier said than done, I know, but keep your head up, girl! I’m thinking of you and praying for your recovery. xo

You have every right to love/hate anyone and anything you want right now! Keep juicing and feel better soon!

Nothing to offer here except hugs. You are staying incredibly strong even if you don’t feel like you are.

Way to go on the juicing. My family would know I was super sick if I started complying with the juice! 🙂

Ali I’m SO sorry that your Crohn’s is being such a little b*tch (excuse my french…maybe). I hope you start feeling better ASAP. I did the Humira route a little over 2 years ago when I was pretty sick and it definitely helped me feel better..hopefully it will do the same for you if you go that route! Get the pens, then you don’t have to watch the needle go in..ew 😉 Feel bettery and rest up girly!!

Jeez, you’re really going through a rough time. I know when things suck the last thing you want to hear is how things will get better because in the middle of crap like this it feels like it never will. So instead of telling you it’ll get beter I’m going to give you mad props for handling this so well and still continuing to blog. As someone who suffers with mild stomach issues it’s nice to just not feel alone when things are being crappy so thanks for being there and being honest! Feel better!

Thinking of you <3.

I hope things get better for you. I spent most of my weekend on the couch hating everything too and watching Supernatural on Netflix.

uch ali i’m so sorry that you aren’t feeling better already! let me know if you need anything (for serious – i have plenty of 9-5 free time)

OMG I am SO SORRY! Yes I just used a lot of caps, but what you’re going through sounds terrible. I’m wishing you a happy, healthy tummy!!!

This was not what I wanted to read…I am so sorry. I too did no exercise all weekend out of sheer laziness…and I ate so much sugar yesterday that I couldn’t sleep. I feel a bit cr’p about that today!! And this might make you giggle… I typed your blog address into my Internet address bar as Ali on the RUM! No such blog exists…yet! Maybe your next IV? Chin up, gorgeous girl!

Courtney says: April 1, 2013 at 11:30 am

Hugs! I’m so sorry you’re still not feeling better!

Stacy Dylan says: April 1, 2013 at 11:34 am

I can so relate to everything you said in your blog-through my son. He is still recovering from surgery and so even the past 2 months have slowed my exercise/running way down. But I’m still going to run the Napa half with team Challenge in June and have managed to get a few short runs in. But when he was in the hospital for 2 weeks and then when we were first home, I envied/hated people i would see running. It was hard for me to leave him and I was and still am so tired. Plus the hospital stuff, bad food, good and bad nurses, the residents not knowing what is going on, etc. Also, my son was on Remicade and it was great for about 8 months, but his tests did show he was making anitbodies to it and then went on Humira. It was good for about 2 years. Anyway, good luck with everything. Your ups and downs are normal and you will get stronger, better and feel good again. Even just that you went and sat outside was good!
Best,
Stacy

I suppose it’s not funny if I mention that your blog could be “Ali has the runs”? I know… not classy.

I just wanted to say that I did Remicade for awhile (it had some side effects that were bad for me) and then I switched to Humira. It’s pretty sweet cause it takes all of 10 seconds (rather than the several hours of infusion) to inject. I like the syringe better than the pen because you can control the speed that the medicine goes in (aka how much/little it hurts). If you have any questions about it – let me know.

Lots of hugs…
Jen

Ali! You are such an inspiration. Being that sick sounds awful, but I still hear positivity in your words. I know you will come out of this a better, stronger, healthier Ali. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I had to think about you when I spent the better part of the Easter weekend either lying on the couch or in the bathroom when I suffered from some stomach flue (or food poisoning, who knows). So, no running this weekend for me either.
Hope you find something that helps soon!

So sorry to hear you still aren’t feeling well. I’m sure a healthier day is just around the corner! I love all your self portraits with your wine juice glasses 🙂

“My mental stability is fragile at best right now. I can go from feeling hugely positive to completely defeated in minutes. I keep reminding myself — and anyone who’s daring enough to listen — that I’m just doing my best. That’s all I can do.”

I think you just gave yourself your best advice! Hang on Ali!
My cousin has crohn’s and i remember when she came to NYC to visit me and refused to take the bus because she wouldn’t have access to a bathroom. I thought she was being dramatic. She wasn’t. But i didn’t really “Get IT” until I started reading your blog. I am only thinking of positive thoughts and hoping that you are feeling better real soon. You have many glorious running days ahead…hopefully they’ll be upon you asap!

Ugh. UGH. My heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry you’re struggling and there isn’t a clear answer as to what to do. No worries about the lack of running updates – I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say that your health is most important. You’ll run again! And until that time, we’ll run for you. (But not in a snobby, selfish, brag-y kind of way). Also – I love juicing! I find that green apples, celery, lemons, and kale can work in almost any recipe, and if you want something to be sweet, add beets or carrots. Good luck!

Ali, I’m so sorry you’re not feeling better and your doctor beautiful is away. I don’t even know what to say. You really are so strong and you keep getting tested. I know you’ll be better soon and tackling thta 26.2 (well, at least getting running and on your way to training for the marathon).

Are you juicing your Cadburry Mini Eggs?

I’m so sorry you feel crappy. I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel even though I’ve been down with foot surgery for the past 9 days. I’ll send you all the “feel goods” I have.
As an RN I am so glad that you had a better experience. Some days I just click and feel like I am giving the best care EVER and then there are other days that no matter how hard I work the rest of the world is working against me.
You are an inspiration! Hope you feel better soon!

Thinking of you and hoping you feel better soon. As my grandma says, I will pray for you. xo

Sorry to hear that you are not feelng better. Thinking of you and sending over good vibes!

FEEL BETTER. I have not run in 1 week 2 days, and the jury is still out for tomorrow. I join you in PRing in lounging, and I raise you with eating the naughtiest food as well. Counter productive times two. Here’s to you getting back to running and eating chocolate chip cookies galore!

Hi Ali~Thinking of you and wishing/praying you are feeling better very soon! 🙂

Ahh sorry you are going through this. I recommend taking Hospital GI- Guy up on his offer. Maybe he has other tricks up his sleeve and another opinion would not hurt. He is an ER guy after all.

Prudence says: April 1, 2013 at 4:04 pm

Hey Ali,

I just Love your attitude. You tried to remain funny, happy and positive no matter how hard the situation is. I hope your body will make a turn around, and that you will start to feel better, every day. Everyday, there must be something to cheer you up! So keep on posting photos of yourself, and keep on smiling! Hugs!.

Feel better Ali! Despite being in such a defeating situation, I really admire your ability to focus on what is good, hard as it may be. And ultimately…I think you’re going to wind up so much more mentally tough and resilient than ever before. In that regard…you’re totally still run-training right now. 26.2 miles will have nothing on you!

I don’t even know what to say, although I do love your self portraits. I know you’re down but you’re picture captions still retain your humor so there’s hope, and where there’s hope, there’s healing (did I just say that). Here’s to hoping you are feeling better soon.

Oh Ali 🙁 I’m so sorry to see you’re still not doing well. I was really hoping after last year, you would just conquer the rest of your life without a flare. I’ll send some positive vibes to you in hopes that you get better. Stay strong, lady!

I’ve had a jacked up neck since Thursday and now have a yeast infection to really make things grand as I head back to work tomorrow. Life is the most awesome. I’m sorry you’re dealing with so much shit right now, but I really appreciate the time you take to share your experiences. I look up to you a lot as a writer, because it turns out it’s a lot harder than it seems to write like you talk and have the tone and humor come across well. Sending a lot of positive, stable, non-rumbling thoughts from the midwest.

Your doctor sounds great. Go ahead and call the other guy. He’s going to be hurt if you don’t. Most importantly feel better. Sending positive teacher vibes your way and teacher glares at what is making you sick.

Ali, I’m sending positive vibes your way. I am so glad you’ve been keeping us posted on how things are going. Air five!

Ali,
I hadn’t seen your post on the 27th and it is weird, but I have to say, you’re the only person that I don’t know that I actually care and wonder about and hope you are okay. I hope that doesn’t make me seem creepy. Anyway, I am so sorry the Remicade stopped working – I know that it is a great drug. But you are right in that there is still Humira and then, after that, I always think there will be something else down the line – they are always inventing new things. If they can find something to help people’s eyelashes grow, they should be able to find something new to help your colon!

Also, I hate when people say, “have you heard about?” or “have you tried blah blah blah?” BUT, have you read about altitude and flares? I get sick when I travel and I googled it one day. My doctor said there isn’t enough research on it yet, but I figured I’d mention it in case it may help in understanding why you’ve been so sick lately. But what do I know!?
I hope you feel better and please remember what a great inspiration you are to so many people.
Oh and I am with you – that other GI guy doesn’t know you and often, people who think they know what is best for you when they don’t can be a bit dangerous, as well as annoying – if anyone can stick it out for a few days, it’s you.

I was sick last week and thought of you and how you deal with feeling similar all too often.
It helped me suck it up and inspired me to be thankful for what I have
I sincerely hope things begin to turn for you soon!

I made a point to sit on Sunday and do nothing but watch movies on my laptop and basketball on the tv. If it weren’t for Popsicles, I never would have moved bc i didn’t really feel well either. I hope you feel better soon or at least sleep through the night without a fevers and maybe eat solid foods.
BTW, l am aware that my strange stomach issues are not the serious illness that Crohn’s is but its the closest thing i have to relate to.
Feel better soon and keep posting pics of Tyler bc he is adorable 🙂

Sending healing thoughts your way, Ali! 🙂

Glad to hear from you… wish it were better news. Sending healing, positive, bathroom-free, fever-free thoughts your way!

Carrie M says: April 2, 2013 at 10:11 am

Hugs.

Hi Ali! I’ve been following your blog for a few weeks. I’ve had crohns for about six years now and recently have had more issues (two hospital trips so far this year) but I’m so inspired by you. Not only are you optimistic (I realize that even though you sound miserable-you’re doing pretty darn great for someone dealing with this stuff!) but I love your courage to share your stories. As for me, I’ve been on humira for two years after a somewhat unsuccessful bowel resection and it’s been great at keeping me in remission for the most part. I hope either the remicade works for you or your switch is successful!

Oh, Ali I swear we are the same person right now! I can so relate to what you’re talking about. Those feelings of going from super positive to hopeless in mere minutes. I feel the same, that feeling of jealousy and almost anger at the healthy people who just seem to be taking it for granted! It’s also scary to be at the mercy of a doctor or someone else.
I’ve seen the humira commercials on tv and maybe it’s time for you to try something new? It sounds promising. Let us know!
You’re in my prayers!

I hope you feel better soon! I’ve been on Humira since January and it helped me so much. I was super nervous about the injections, but was pleasantly surprised that it was not bad AT ALL. I use the pens and it stings for about 5 seconds. My husband told me to imagine I’m stabbing Crohn’s TO DEATH! Haha.

just sending some love your way. sounds like you could use some. xxx

Oh man, I am SO behind on Ali land! I am so, so sorry you are so sick 🙁 I will send lots of strength and energy your way — I SO hope you get the treatment you need to feel more like the old Ali again…but a new and improved version. Hang in there.

Jocelyn says: April 2, 2013 at 2:06 pm

dude, i know you probably don’t feel like it, but if you need someone to bring you soup, gossip mags, play a game of Guess Who or whatever…please let me know!! Being in a bad mental stat & not being able to exercise is terrible – so at least let me (or someone) help with the mental stuff! Plus how much do you want to play “Guess Who?”!?!?!? I’ve been thinking about that game a lot lately…..

Hi Ali – just out of curiosity, how long have you been on Remicade?

Monica C. says: April 2, 2013 at 7:13 pm

I’m so sorry that you are still flaring! Have you looked into Prednisone at all? I know that it has been effective in breaking a severe flare (of RA) that I have had in the past. It breaks the flare and I have then been able to remain on my less toxic, more benign, daily medicine. I really hope you feel better soon!!

p.s.: Could they have piled any more food on that hospital plate? Gheesh! Who on earth is that hungry while in the hospital? 🙂

What sort of scented candle do you think would be best for healing? A mix of eucalyptus and grapefruit? I can bring that…

Seriously, if you need anything let me know! I’ll bring you Juice Generation and we can watch Dance Moms…

So sorry to hear the hospital stay didn’t make you feel better. You’re in my thoughts, I’m sending healing vibes your way!

Is Brian back from Easter hols? I do hope he is.

Hang in there Ali.

Ali-
I follow you on twitter and found this post today. While very well written I am sorry to hear about your difficult weekend. I too spent the weekend avoiding physical activity due to a foot issue I have been having for almost 3 weeks. It is not at all fun missing the running and in my case skating (I coach both son’s hockey team.) Sounds like you do have a real good grasp of how to handle some tough times. Just keep reminding yourself “you are doing your best”, and try to stay positive and upbeat!

Thinking of you, Ali, and sending positive thoughts your way!

Hi, I just started reading your blog a couple weeks ago. I think you’re awesome and I hope you can kick Crohn’s ass soon. I saw the link below and thought of you. I haven’t read it and know that you juice already, but thought it couldn’t hurt to share. Take care! http://fitlife.tv/besting-crohns-disease-roslyn-road-to-redemption-2/

While I can’t say I have any idea what it feels like, I’m thinking of you and hoping that recovery comes quickly for you this round. Stay strong!