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I'm Still Here
So we’re on board with being thankful, yeah? Mostly. Whenever. Sometimes.
Thank you for the honest feedback yesterday. Whether you love or loathe the grateful day, it’s always good to know where your head is at. Especially since most of the time I have absolutely no idea where my own head is at.
I think I led you a bit astray with that post, though, so allow me to clarify:
I love blogging.
I love writing.
I love spitting out nonsense and discovering that, hey! Other people feel the same way! I’m not alone in my weirdness.
I love that you don’t complain when I sometimes just post completely irrelevant photos of Tyler.
I enjoy this little internet space and the community we’ve formed. I think you are all the coolest and in a strange way, I actually think we’re friends, even though most of us have never met or awkwardly bumped into each other in a locker room or in Central Park.
I wrote about my minor blogging dilemma yesterday — debating whether or not to continue with weekly Thankful Things Thursday posts — just to lament that I’m short on time these days. My job takes up far more time both in and out of the office than I ever anticipated. And I’m OK with that. I love what I do. I just wish I had more hours in the day (don’t we all?) to really say what I want to say here…and to have it come out somewhat cohesively.
As usual, I want to be able to do it all.
I know I can’t do everything — I gave up on trying that a while ago — but I can do many things, and so sorry to some of you, but I’m not going anywhere. Not yet at least.
Speaking of going places, guess where I went last night?
I went back to Physique 57.
And damn that place. Damn that beautiful, shiny, happy place.
Despite what you may think, Physique 57 is not at all easier the second time around. (I went for the first time a few weeks ago.) I mean, WTF? I expected to be a pro upon my return, but noooooo. Those pulses and “just eight more counts” commands were just as tough as I remembered. I shook as much as I did the first time, but I also laughed a lot. (I took Chad’s class last night. I feel like I got a burning workout, a dance class and a comedy show all in one. Highly recommend. I don’t know what drugs he’s on — he’s probably just high on fitness or something — but I want some of them.)
I did use heavier weights this time, which made the arm section burn more in a very good way. But that thigh section is what absolutely demolishes me. There’s this thing called “waterski” and it’s just ridiculous. I felt like I was in Cirque du Soleil or something as I faced the barre, held onto it with both hands, came up into a high relevé (up on your toes, really high), bent my knees and leaned back. And then pulsed. Honestly. That shit is insane. And you do it for like 20 minutes. Definitely at least 20 minutes. And then you think you’re done because you look down and see that a fire has, in fact, ignited itself on your quad muscles, but no. Then sweet Chad tells you to drop to the floor (“collapse to the floor” is a better description of what I did) for the “thigh dancing” section.
F thigh dancing.
You’re on the floor, on your knees, just bouncing up and down. Chad did all these wild arm moves, and with the great music and the fun crowd and Crazy Chad, it was almost like a really great party. Except at most really great parties I attend, my thighs are not shaking uncontrollably and I’m not crying.
I hate thigh dancing.
But I love Physique 57.
It’s funny to me how some things, no matter how often we do them and how hard we try to succeed at them, never get easier. Like Physique 57. Like mile repeats. Like the subway stairs I complain about all the time. And like only buying one thing at Target.
To conclude: I’m sure there will come a day in my not-too-far-away future where I have either run out of things to ramble about or I’ve simply realized that detailing my entire life online for all the world to read and criticize is weird and maybe not good for me. But that day is not today. Today I fail to see those things.
So I’m still Ali On The Run.
I’m just not totally sure what I’m running toward.
In the meantime, I am still bad at Physique 57.
And here is my Christmas present from Tyler:
WHAT ARE YOU AWFUL AT? OK, maybe not awful. But what is something that you work hard at and never seem to find any easier? Maybe you get better at it but it’s still not easy. Another great example would be “doing the dishes.” I do the dishes all the time. It’s not even a chore I hate. But I’m not good at it. I let the dishes sit in the sink for too long sometimes, and then the food cakes itself onto the dishes and I can’t get it off. And then, I inevitably splash myself repeatedly as I wash things. By the time I’m done doing the dishes, I am always, without fail, soaking wet.