I took a picture of the door again. I think it's really pretty.

I'm Still Here

Date: January 4, 2013 at 9:03 am- by Ali- Comment(s): 35

So we’re on board with being thankful, yeah? Mostly. Whenever. Sometimes.

Thank you for the honest feedback yesterday. Whether you love or loathe the grateful day, it’s always good to know where your head is at. Especially since most of the time I have absolutely no idea where my own head is at.

I think I led you a bit astray with that post, though, so allow me to clarify:

I love blogging.

I love writing.

I love spitting out nonsense and discovering that, hey! Other people feel the same way! I’m not alone in my weirdness.

I love that you don’t complain when I sometimes just post completely irrelevant photos of Tyler.

Here is Tyler looking sneaky. He wears bibs round the clock because he drools so much. Baby drool isn’t as gross as I expected it to be. Baby poop is disgusting.

I enjoy this little internet space and the community we’ve formed. I think you are all the coolest and in a strange way, I actually think we’re friends, even though most of us have never met or awkwardly bumped into each other in a locker room or in Central Park.

I wrote about my minor blogging dilemma yesterday — debating whether or not to continue with weekly Thankful Things Thursday posts — just to lament that I’m short on time these days. My job takes up far more time both in and out of the office than I ever anticipated. And I’m OK with that. I love what I do. I just wish I had more hours in the day (don’t we all?) to really say what I want to say here…and to have it come out somewhat cohesively.

As usual, I want to be able to do it all.

I know I can’t do everything — I gave up on trying that a while ago — but I can do many things, and so sorry to some of you, but I’m not going anywhere. Not yet at least.

Speaking of going places, guess where I went last night?

I went back to Physique 57.

I took a picture of the door again. I think it’s really pretty.

Yeah man.

And damn that place. Damn that beautiful, shiny, happy place.

Despite what you may think, Physique 57 is not at all easier the second time around. (I went for the first time a few weeks ago.) I mean, WTF? I expected to be a pro upon my return, but noooooo. Those pulses and “just eight more counts” commands were just as tough as I remembered. I shook as much as I did the first time, but I also laughed a lot. (I took Chad’s class last night. I feel like I got a burning workout, a dance class and a comedy show all in one. Highly recommend. I don’t know what drugs he’s on — he’s probably just high on fitness or something — but I want some of them.)

I did use heavier weights this time, which made the arm section burn more in a very good way. But that thigh section is what absolutely demolishes me. There’s this thing called “waterski” and it’s just ridiculous. I felt like I was in Cirque du Soleil or something as I faced the barre, held onto it with both hands, came up into a high relevé (up on your toes, really high), bent my knees and leaned back. And then pulsed. Honestly. That shit is insane. And you do it for like 20 minutes. Definitely at least 20 minutes. And then you think you’re done because you look down and see that a fire has, in fact, ignited itself on your quad muscles, but no. Then sweet Chad tells you to drop to the floor (“collapse to the floor” is a better description of what I did) for the “thigh dancing” section.

F thigh dancing.

You’re on the floor, on your knees, just bouncing up and down. Chad did all these wild arm moves, and with the great music and the fun crowd and Crazy Chad, it was almost like a really great party. Except at most really great parties I attend, my thighs are not shaking uncontrollably and I’m not crying.

Thigh dancing.

I hate thigh dancing.

But I love Physique 57.

It’s funny to me how some things, no matter how often we do them and how hard we try to succeed at them, never get easier. Like Physique 57. Like mile repeats. Like the subway stairs I complain about all the time. And like only buying one thing at Target.

To conclude: I’m sure there will come a day in my not-too-far-away future where I have either run out of things to ramble about or I’ve simply realized that detailing my entire life online for all the world to read and criticize is weird and maybe not good for me. But that day is not today. Today I fail to see those things.

So I’m still Ali On The Run.

I’m just not totally sure what I’m running toward.

In the meantime, I am still bad at Physique 57.

And here is my Christmas present from Tyler:

He painted this picture of a dog. Isn’t it amazing? I cannot believe my nephew is on the road to becoming a famous artist. I’m so proud. Eat your heart out, Salvador Dali. And Picasso. And Instagram.

WHAT ARE YOU AWFUL AT? OK, maybe not awful. But what is something that you work hard at and never seem to find any easier? Maybe you get better at it but it’s still not easy. Another great example would be “doing the dishes.” I do the dishes all the time. It’s not even a chore I hate. But I’m not good at it. I let the dishes sit in the sink for too long sometimes, and then the food cakes itself onto the dishes and I can’t get it off. And then, I inevitably splash myself repeatedly as I wash things. By the time I’m done doing the dishes, I am always, without fail, soaking wet.

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35 Responses to "I'm Still Here"

I’m awful at running, which is one of the reasons I read your blog. It inspires me.

Speedwork and Refine Method – no matter how often I do these things they continue to kill me. I’d like to include tempo runs here but I don’t work hard at it — in fact, I give up in the first few minutes — so that is not a good example. Another thing is putting clothes away after they are clean. I just can’t get myself to do it no matter how hard I try to be better at it.

I am awful at a lot of things especially spelling and grammar! I want to be better I really do!

I am bad at finishing what I started (hello New Year’s Goals!). Soooo glad to hear you’re going to keep up the rambling. It gives me a big smile to read your blog :)

hills, oh hills; they absolutely never get easier

Refine Method never gets any easier. I still have to work so hard at each class and drag my body off the ground during burpees. I also suck at doing laundry and then putting away the clean clothes and my ultimate awful trait is reading text messages/emails and only responding in my head. My mom can’t stand me.

I’m awful at keeping my desk organized. I’ll clean it up and then it feels like five minutes later it’s full of crap again. And reading all of the directions (especially for a recipe) before jumping in. I totally suck at that.

I am awful at my mental game. I can do a lot of things that I tell myself I can’t. In CrossFit this usually bites me hard in the butt. And then I whine that I’m slower than everyone else. Progress in baby steps, right, Ty?

Squats. I am terrible at squats. And letting my mind wander. Everyone tells me I need to let my mind wander on long runs. But I can’t. Which makes long runs excruciating.

The Kidless Kronicles

Burpees and the stairs @ work (I work on the 9th floor and there’s 30 steps per floor and I refuse to use the scary elevator. I do this everyday and my heart is always beating out of my chest on the way up and I walk into work breathing heavy like some kind of animal. Also, walking in heels. What a terrible thing.

I’m glad you’re not going anywhere! Finding your blog last spring was a huge motivation throughout my training for the Hamptons Half. Happy to be one of your readers who has awkwardly stopped you in Central Park to say hi! ;)

I am awful at swimming. BUT a couple months ago I decided that was okay and started swimming. I love the challenge! And guess what? I’m getting better.

Yoga is my vice. I TRY to do it once a week (meh mayyyybe make it once a month) because I KNOW it would benefit my running so much. But the competitor in me does not like how inflexible I have become over the years and I just get frustrated modifying and being jealous of others in class. Such a bad yogi.
In theory I know that if I did it consistently it would get easier/better….but I prefer logging miles and lifting heavy weights. Such a dilemma. Hopefully 2013 will see more yoga…and stretching in general.

I’m awful at cleaning the bathroom…I just hate doing it. Other chore type activities, I’m fine with, but bathrooms, especially everything that is mine (escaped makeup and hair) seems to be impossible to deal with.
For running…it is hills. I live in a hilly area but they never seem to get any easier!

I’m awful at reading and throwing out my mail, or paper in general. I let them sit in neat little piles, and never get rid of them until my husband makes me spent a few terrible hours reviewing everything and making sure that I’m not throwing out private information that could lead to identity theft. It drives my husband crazy!

Is Physique 57 similar to the Bar Method? I’ll probably be yelled at by serious Physique 57ers by asking but the thigh portion of Bar Method sounds similar and from my experience, the pulsing never.ever.gets.less.painful.

I’m awful at being patient. No matter how hard I try to work on it, I just don’t think it’s in my genes. I’m sure one day I’ll have children who are crazy and test my lack of patience daily but it they are as cute as Tyler, maybe I won’t care :)

I’m awful at cooking, which is tragic because I really love to eat! Even the measuring cups give me anxiety. Moving to another country where they used different measurements doesn’t help much either…
Glad to see you’re here to stay! I’ve been reading your blog for what seems like forever and it’s probably my fave!!

I never go the chance to post yesterday, but I AM SO GLAD YOU WILL CONTINUE TO BLOG! And be thankful =) I recently tried out several barre classes and oomph! I think you’re right about never being “good” at them. Although I thought it was torture to spend an hour at the barre and not get to dance in the center after! No, planks do not count as ballet, thankyouverymuch.

Ali I love reading your blog everyday. It makes me smile and be hopeful about my running and my crohns. Even when I am having a terrible day, your writing makes me laugh and that is enough for me. Plus who doesn’t love cute baby pics. Ditto on the drool.

I’m glad you’re sticking around, Ali. And I personally love the Tyler pics, in the least creepy way possible.

I suck at math. Always have, always will. When I was studying for the GREs, I figured that math I had done in high school might seem a bit easier as an adult; I was so, so wrong. Embarrassingly wrong. Sigh. English teacher forever, I guess!

I’m awful at running hills. I practised loads for the SF Half marathon. The first hill comes up and I tackle it like the Hill Princess I am in my head…and everyone else cruises past me effortlessly. I was heartbroken! I’m also awful at crafting. Painfully bad. My crafty friends actually laugh at my efforts.

Heehee, you know I love thigh dancing, like whoa ;-) Next time you are in Boston, you SO have to come to barre n9ne ;-) I am glad you are sticking around, we love you!

The thigh dancing is actually the only part of Physique classes that I’m good at. I shake like a leaf during the standing thigh section and I once had both the instructor AND her assistant sprinting over to help me during the butt section.

I am also particularly bad at roll ups. For some reason, I’m better at doing them in Refine classes, maybe because they’re done at the end and my body’s warmed up. In my pilates class we do them at the beginning and women 25 years older than me roll up effortlessly into a v-sit while I’m trying to propel myself upwards with my legs 2 feet off the ground and a grimace on my face. It’s not pretty.

Thigh dancing used to kill me!! I used to have to screw my face up into this wretched tortured tomato impression to get through it.

Other things I suck at:
1. Refine Method. Every time I die.
2. Crow pose. One day I should ask the teacher how to do it instead of hoping my knees will stick to my triceps while my feet come off the floor
3. Putting anything away.
4. Running uphill.

I’m not that great at running but I love doing it because it makes me feel good about myself and challenged. I LOVE the pictures of Tyler, well just about any cute baby will do but since you have a direct connection to him, makes me enjoy seeing them even more. Also, I LOVE your blog and really enjoy Thankful Things Thursdays. I only follow about four bloggers and you are one of them so I’d be disappointed if you stopped blogging.

Hope you have a great 2013!

I’m pretty awful at doing dishes as well. I like have a clean house, and a clean sink, but Its nearly impossible to keep it up. They just keep reproducing themselves. Its terrible. Happy Friday!

Spelling and typing. Never been good at it. Prob for the best I don’t really blog that much these days. It’s so fun being smart! Good thing I’m pretty and funny. ;)

I completely suck at Yoga. People say that its “relaxing” and “spiritual” and “amazing”. What I feel is stressed, uncoordinated and ridiculous. I pretty much cry at least once during the class which btw is totally embarrassing especially when the Yogi’s think I’m having some kind of spiritual breakthrough or epiphany. Nope, just feeling out of place and stupid. LOL. Why do I keep going back? Glutton for punishment and I will not let Yoga beat me. ;)

I am awful at a lot of things. I am 26 years old and I have only had my driver’s license for a year, so I suck at driving. I am a slow runner, I’m a total hermit, I’m bad at being nice to myself, and I’m forgetful (when it comes to things like bills), emotional, and messy. Still, I’m not a bad person. Also, I’m glad you’re not putting the blog to rest. For what it’s worth, your words are worth it to me– it’s nice to hear someone in the blog community who’s totally real and thus easy to relate to. I don’t eat greek yogurt and egg white protein pancakes. i eat cookies. you eat cookies. it’s a nice thing.

Ali on the Run better not turn into Ali No More! You make me feel normal about running, Chron’s and life in general! Thank you for all of your blogs! I am terrible at keeping up on my kids scrapbooks. Seriously, I am 3 years behind on each of them. It’s overwhelming but at least I have books started, right? oh by the way drool and poop are WAY easier than kid vomit. Just wait for your kid at 3am in a pile of puke. LOTS of fun!

Sadly this is way too easy to answer. It would be swimming in spite of going every week and taking group lessons and then several weeks of private lessons. I.AM.JUST.NOT.GOOD.AT.SWIMMING.AT.ALL.

Dance! Wanna help? No, I mean seriously…I’m absolutely balance and coordinated challenged.

Shauna@ Pleasure, not Punishment says: January 5, 2013 at 6:00 pm

OMG welcome to the BURNSANITY of barre class. It’s the best.

I’m awful at push-ups. Or, perhaps *they* are awful at *me*!

I am awful at finishing things ive started- and making grand sweeping statements such as losing 6kg, then eating a large lemon cheesecake!

Don’t quit ever. I barely get to see you as much as I would like so without your blog, I’d have a serious Ali void in my life.

Also I am really terrible at spinning plates on a tall stick. I can’t tell you how many sets of dishes I have gone through in the past few years. I think it is really starting to annoy my family. But I mean, you can’t chose what you love.