- New post: All kinds of random facts about me because that's what bloggers do sometimes. https://t.co/CvufrgCush about 20 hours ago ReplyRetweetFavorite
- When Ellie met Bambi. #elliegolden @ Garrett Mountain Reservation https://t.co/FcMLU0kJQj about 20 hours ago ReplyRetweetFavorite
- New post: High Fives for Friday. https://t.co/CvufrgCush about 22 hours ago ReplyRetweetFavorite
- October 26, 2012 by AliPlease Let Me Make Your Day (That Means A Giveaway!)
- June 15, 2012 by AliMonday. 9 AM. Get Sweaty. (And For Now: A Giveaway!)
- August 10, 2012 by AliTake My Sweat (It's A Giveaway & It's Not Gross)
- May 25, 2012 by AliDo You Want Free Sneakers? (Translation: A Giveaway!)
- July 9, 2013 by AliEmbrace The Sweat (An "I Heart Sweat" Shirt Giveaway!)
- July 29, 2016 by AliHigh Fives For Friday
- July 25, 2016 by AliNew York City Marathon Training: Week 1
- July 22, 2016 by AliThe Day I Met Celine Dion
- July 21, 2016 by AliOn Working From Home
- July 19, 2016 by AliCurrently... (Turkey sandwiches! Paris! Celine Dion!)
- July 2016
- June 2016
- May 2016
- April 2016
- March 2016
- February 2016
- January 2016
- December 2015
- November 2015
- October 2015
- September 2015
- August 2015
- July 2015
- June 2015
- May 2015
- April 2015
- March 2015
- February 2015
- January 2015
- December 2014
- November 2014
- October 2014
- September 2014
- August 2014
- July 2014
- June 2014
- May 2014
- April 2014
- March 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- December 2013
- November 2013
- October 2013
- September 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
I Want To Know What It's Like
I want to wake up in the morning, and I want to just run.
I don’t want to spend an hour in the bathroom first.
I don’t want to plan my route based on where I can find an open public restroom at 5:30 AM.
I want to read my training plan and know I can tackle the workout because my stomach isn’t going to hold me back.
I want to know what it’s like to feel “normal.”
I’m tired of being “the girl with Crohn’s.”
I’m tired of having to clarify that “I ran 7 miles, but had to make 7 bathroom stops.”
That’s precisely what happened yesterday. The number of stops I made was equivalent to the number of miles I ran.
I knew something was off on July 4th when I went running in New Jersey with Sofia and Nicole. Yes it was hot, but I felt drastically worse than normal, and I ditched them after two miles so I could go to the bathroom.
Then, this weekend, there was that tell-tale sign that Crohn’s was here again.
(By tell-tale sign I mean blood where you never want there to be blood.)
Since then, I’ve spent far too much time in the bathroom. The first thing I did at Brian’s race Sunday was scope out the bathroom situation.
During my bike ride Monday morning I actually had to stop and carry my bike into the bathroom with me. Do you know how awkward that is to maneuver? I was certainly not graceful and I don’t understand why “real bikes” don’t have kickstands. That would’ve been really helpful at the time.
I’ve been in a constant state of discomfort for a week now — just in time to start marathon training.
It’s my third flare-up of the year: I had one in March, another in May, just in time for my best friend’s wedding…
…and now this one, which thankfully has been the calmest of the bunch because I haven’t had the night sweats. My fever did climb into the 100s yesterday, but I’m not too concerned.
I can’t complain though, and I don’t expect sympathy.
I didn’t really do anything to prevent this flare-up.
Yes, I’ve been eating pretty well (most of the time — I do my best, but I’m still a proud #fatfluential ringleader some days), and I haven’t been drinking. I’ve been exercising, but haven’t been doing any excessive or potentially body-damaging workouts (like, I don’t know, breaking wood planks with my forehead or working on my gymnastics moves).
I started taking probiotics and flax seed oil pills…yesterday.
And I haven’t gotten a new doctor yet.
I’ve done research. I’ve bookmarked bios from doctors I found online, and I’ve even made a few calls to check and see if places take my insurance. I’ve received tons of recommendations, and I’ve saved them all.
But I haven’t committed to a new doctor. I haven’t had a colonoscopy since 2009, and while I’ve gotten into juicing and other food-related things I thought would help, I haven’t stuck with any of it.
I can’t say I did much to ward off this latest flare. I keep saying I’m going to get a new doctor, but as soon as I say that, I start feeling better, so I continue putting it off. When I feel good, I don’t want to think about Crohn’s, let alone go see a doctor and talk about it and get a bunch of tests.
My parents always told me I needed to find a doctor while I was healthy, that way he/she would be there for me when I got sick.
Mom, Dad, I swear my goal in life is not to let you down. How pissed are you guys that you’re finding out about my sickness on a blog?
Would a Tyler photo make you un-mad at me, parents?
I am doing a little something, though: I’m sitting in the Remicade chair right now, getting pumped full of anti-inflammatory goodness. I’m hoping that does the trick and kicks this flare out of my system. But I know that’s only a quick fix, and I need a long-term solution. The Remicade helps temporarily, but it’s obviously not enough to keep me in remission for longer than two months at a time.
I’m not complaining. I promise. In fact, I didn’t even want to write about this little health issue because I was hoping it would come and go quickly enough that I could ignore it.
I’m trying to remain optimistic even though this disease has been completely debilitating the past few days. I hate emailing my boss and saying I’m not going to make it to the office. She’s really understanding, but I feel so weak and pathetic doing this all the time.
I went for my first marathon-training-specific run yesterday, and it was terrible. It was one of my worst runs of all time. That frustrated the heck out of me, because when I was actually running, I felt great! My paces were spot-on, and it was encouraging. Then, out of nowhere, I’d have to come to a complete, sudden stop and my face would turn bright-red (on top of the redness it already had from the sweating, of course) and I’d shuffle my way to that wonderful tennis court bathroom.
I stopped there seven times.
So as perfect as those splits were, do they even count if they were completely broken up? I don’t know.
The workout was a 1-mile warm-up, three laps of the Reservoir at marathon goal pace (8:45–8:50 is what we’re going with for now) and a 1-mile cool-down.
My total running time was 1:04.
But door-to-door, the workout took more than an hour and a half. That’s a lot of bathroom time.
Now you know what’s up. I really do have a feeling this is a mini-flare and it’s going to pass really quickly. Also, after having more flare-ups in the past year than I had in the previous five years, I think it’s time to stop being a little brat and actually get a doctor. No more excuses, right? I have pretty much done every single other task on my To-Do List — including clipping my nails and finally unpacking another moving box — except getting a doctor.
This is me, not complaining. Just acknowledging what’s up and wanting to feel normal.
Since this is the lamest post ever, here is something fantastic that my coworker sent me:
If only that were written in ALL CAPS.
So that’s the deal. Any questions?