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Changing My Mindset
I’m not a person who looks too much into the future.
I have no idea where I want to live eventually, I don’t know how many kids I want and I have no idea what my “dream wedding” entails (but I know it’ll be open bar with tons of dancing, and The Electric Slide is strictly forbidden).
I’m more of a day-to-day thinker. Ask me what I’m doing tonight and I can muster up an answer (dragging my old mattress onto the street for pickup and returning my apartment keys to my super).
But my plan for next year, next month or even next Monday?
Shit, I don’t know.
So it’s been quite an adjustment changing my mindset lately from thinking about what I want to be doing at this exact moment — which, you know, is running, always — and instead thinking about how my decisions today will affect me in the long-term.
I’m now on Day 8 of my self-enforced running rest in hopes that my hip and shin (both on the left side) will chill out and stop being so angry with me. I want to give myself at least 10 run-less days, and I have an appointment with the ortho doctor on Monday for a follow-up.
Up until last night I was actually doing OK with this. I’ve done a lot of strength training and core work this week, so I haven’t been totally sedentary. I’ve squeezed my glute muscles harder than ever before and I’m pretty sure that even though I’m finally off the steroids (yay!), I’m on my way to bulking up. I’m thinking about hosting an arm wrestling competition at some point in the very near future. Let me know if you want in.
This week has been a little tough and emotions have been running (running!!!) somewhat high. I have some unplanned travel days coming up this weekend and early next week, on top of planned travel days throughout the month of May, and basically I’ve been excitingly busy. (Damn you, Brian, I just want to say I’m stressed. Hate you, but also love you.)
And when life gets crazy, do you know what calms me down?
Going for a run.
Last night I walked home from the subway and happened to walk past Engineers’ Gate in Central Park — which is “my spot” where I enter the park to go running. It’s one of my many happy places.
But last night, I didn’t feel happy when I saw it. I felt sad. I missed it. And I thought about making a pile of rocks, and then taking those rocks and throwing them at all the healthy runners cruising by with big smiles on their faces.
I didn’t, though, because I don’t have time to get arrested this week. That would suck.
So I came home, did a bit of Boring Yoga On Demand (no photos this time, try to be OK with it) and carb loaded with pasta and Parmesan cheese, you know, just in case.
I woke up this morning with intentions to go to a spin class before heading to a photo shoot in Brooklyn for work (with the Newsies boys!). But I felt tired, so I let myself sleep more.
When I re-awoke, I saw the sun coming up over the river and thought to myself, “Maybe you could try running today. Just three miles or something short, to test things out.” I walked around the apartment, my shin felt OK, and then I said, “NO! ALI YOU WILL NOT RUN TODAY! IT IS ONLY DAY 8!”
Spoiler alert: I did not run!
I did abs. I planked. I glute-squeezed. I stretched. I foam rolled.
I took care of myself today. I made smart decisions.
Because I’m becoming a long-term thinker.
I knew “testing it out” today wouldn’t do me any favors. So I’m waiting. I’m waiting until after I see the doctor on Monday to proceed.
Not running sucks. It sucks in general and it definitely sucks when I have a lot of other things on my mind and just want an hour of solo sweating to distract me for a bit.
COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN.
I’m reminding myself constantly that not running today means so much running in the future. I’m actually kind of shocked I haven’t caved and gone for a run, honestly, because I can be a stubborn little brat. I know that if I went out for a few miles, I’d feel fine. Maybe my hip would hurt a little after, but these past few days of no-impact-activity have served me well so far.
So, just a few more days, and then we’ll see.
In the meantime, I’m going to continue to get all jacked up in the arm area, I’m probably going to attempt to bench press Brian later, and I guess someday I’ll figure out where I should raise kids or something.
Have a great weekend, everyone! Stay un-injured!
WHAT KIND OF THINKER ARE YOU? Long-term? Short-term? Or are you one of those fancy people who can successfully do both? That’s impressive. Tell me more.