- I want to appreciate "big pharma" for creating this medicine that seems to work for me, but my god... There has to be a better way. about 21 hours ago ReplyRetweetFavorite
- So thank goodness for insurance. It's still too expensive, but drug companies charing $55,000 for a one-time-use drug??? That is sick. about 21 hours ago ReplyRetweetFavorite
- Just got the hospital bill for my 1st Stelara infusion. Billed at $55,000. (Insurance covered all but $1,050, phew.) Still, THAT IS F*CKED. about 21 hours ago ReplyRetweetFavorite
- October 26, 2012 by AliPlease Let Me Make Your Day (That Means A Giveaway!)
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- May 25, 2012 by AliDo You Want Free Sneakers? (Translation: A Giveaway!)
- July 9, 2013 by AliEmbrace The Sweat (An "I Heart Sweat" Shirt Giveaway!)
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The Break I Needed
Was yesterday my Dream Day?
Well, that depends how you define “Dream Day.”
If your Dream Day includes being super healthy, eating wholesome, nutritious foods, spending quality time with your family and going for a luxuriously long run, then no, yesterday was not that day.
However, if your Dream Day includes taking a crucial step toward health and recovery, making a reappearance at your office, simply interacting with humans, miraculously not spiking a fever every hour and making your long-awaited return to your favorite frozen yogurt joint, then yes, total Dream Day.
Oh, it also includes getting published online by one of your favorite magazines? Sure, put that on the list. Dream Day still accomplished.
Plus a Tweet…
…and a Facebook post.
OK, I’m done now.
After I posted on Monday about my decision not to run the Eugene Marathon, I got an email from an editor at Runner’s World. I can only assume someone over there reads my blog for comic relief or as “what not to do” inspiration, and I was clearly a little shocked it was on someone’s radar. But Nice Editor Lady said she liked that post and wanted to re-publish it on the RW blog.
Since the post went up yesterday, I’ve gotten a ton of comments and emails from new readers — welcome! I hope you stick around for a while and are into sarcasm and legwarmers. I promise that I do write about running — and sometimes even racing — most of the time!
I’m so glad my little burnout story resonated with you. I’m also shocked at how many people I’ve heard from who can relate to the Crohn’s part of the story. This disease is madness and every time I hear from someone who has it, my heart feels sad at first (sorry you are in pain and stuff) but then happy, because awareness is so crucial.
The bigger picture right now is that clearly I have needed this break. If I hadn’t dropped out of Eugene, I’d be freaking out right now. I’ve run a total of six miles this week. Six very slow, walk-break-and-bathroom-stop-filled miles, earlier in the week, just to get some fresh air. My training would be a mess and, subsequently, I’d be panicking about Race Day.
Panic doesn’t help Crohn’s. I’ve learned that lesson over and over and over.
I’m almost glad this happened because it’s knocked me back to reality and made me re-prioritize my life. Right now, I’m focusing on the immediate upcoming events that mean a lot to me, rather than putting pressure on myself to do well in a race.
I needed this. I may be weak now, but I’m going to come back stronger.
Yesterday I spent a few hours at Roosevelt Hospital getting pumped full of Remicade, the Miracle Drug.
My nurse was all, “Are you OK? You look gaunt.” And I was like, “Do you mean pale? Because yes, I feel pale.” Apparently, between the stomach flu and the Crohn’s flare, I’m down 10 pounds from my last visit. She saw that as cause for concern, and I told her that I had a bag of Oreos for breakfast. I don’t know why, but all I want is Oreos this week. Nothing else seems appetizing. Anyway, worry not needed, Nurse Jeanna. Love you.
So I got my IV and had a real lunch! Half of a turkey sandwich!
As soon as I left the hospital I was all, “Yeah! I’m fixed! This is going to kick in right away! Time to live it up!”
I maybe got a little overzealous, went back to the office for a little while, and then did a SoulCycle class as a “reward for not having a fever for a few hours.” Wicked good idea, Ali. You really know how to take it slow and ease into things.
And then I got 16 Handles, because everyone knows that when you’ve got a digestive disease, you should pump yourself full of artificial ingredients. (Though the flavors I had last night were sugar free and dairy free or something. Can’t say the same for the hot fudge, which most likely does not come from “all natural sources.”)
But! I’m not complaining. And I’m not out drinking a bunch of beers or something, so I think I’m doing OK in the recovery department. Yay!
And honestly, the Remicade did kick in mighty quickly. I only had a few run-ins with the bathroom between treatment time and bedtime, which is a major improvement, and I went to bed last night without the chills. I must have spiked a fever at some point, because I woke up, yet again, bathed in sweat. I popped out of bed at 5 AM feeling ambitious. I’m going to stretch! I’m going to foam roll! I’m going to go for a little run!
Then I was back with a tiny fever and back in the bathroom. Also, my eyes won’t focus, which research tells me is another Crohnsy side effect. Interesting.
So, OK. I’ll take this slowly. And, as a result, I’ll recover stronger. That’s how it works, right?
Since I’m home again today — the Remicade further suppresses your immune system for 48–72 hours, so you’re supposed to lay low and not be around sick people and whatnot — you get the pleasure of reading some entries from the journals I haven’t parted with yet.
Now keep in mind, these are my academic journals, not my personal journals, so they’re far more serious and logical.
I was in third grade and I didn’t know “a lot” was two words. I deserve a time out for that.
But while I was young, I was also up on current events, particularly the Olympics.
I AM NOT BEHIND THE NANCY KERRIGAN/TONYA HARDING SCANDAL. My memory isn’t great, but this journal entry worries me that I had something to do with the whole broken knee debacle. I had even done my research about the bodyguard.
Let’s move on.
If you thought I always liked school, you would be wrong. Some days, at 11 AM, I did not enjoy academics.
This entry confuses me. Was I awake at 11 PM? There’s no way. Mom, did you even give me a bedtime? What is happening with this lackadaisical parenting? Or did I skip out at 11 AM? Or is this post just not in chronological order at all?
How did I ever get a job as a writer/editor?
You’d think I would have made a career as an artist.
Yes, I have resorted to posting entries from my childhood journals because I’m tired of writing excessively about my bathroom habits and night sweats.
Just wait, though. I have this weird feeling that as soon as I’m better, I’m going to start running again, and it’s going to be amazing. My legs are itching for speed. Or they’re itching because I need a shower. Either way, fast, furious distance running isn’t far off. Just stick with me.
I WANT TO KNOW: What do you eat when you’re sick? I’m normally a grilled cheese and noodle soup girl, but as I mentioned, this week I’m all about the Oreos, probably because I have such a tendency to want healthy, wholesome foods. Give me some ideas. Please. Thanks.
Have a great weekend!