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Reminder: Life Is Not Bad & I Am Not Injured
Last night after work, I dragged myself to a yoga class at my gym.
I debated whether or not to get all yogafied (evil red squiggly line, stop trying to tell me that’s not a word, because it is) for a good 30 minutes.
Getting there was a struggle. I kept picturing myself on my couch eating cheese and that seemed so, so good. But I got on the uptown subway and walked to the gym, and once I was there I knew I was going to find myself in Downward Dog rather than on my kind-of-uncomfortable-actually sofa.
As always, Instructor Yogi Man Carl began the class with his “I’m here to help you” speech: “Is there anything going on with any of your bodies that I should know about? Any injuries, anything that feels weird?”
I just sat there and squirmed. I had a brain battle: I could tell him that my hip sort of hurt a little, but then he’d ask what exactly hurt and I wouldn’t know how to pinpoint it and couldn’t explain the problem. Or I could sit there, stay quiet and just alter moves on my own if needed to avoid any pain. Obviously smart, because I’m a total yoga pro. I’ve taken like eight classes! Let me know if you need any yoga advice. I’m especially good at poses like “Child’s Pose” and “Laying Down Pose.”
Then the chick next to me piped up: “I have a hip injury I’m dealing with.”
Carl assessed her, they talked about her groinal area and he gave her a few tips. I listened intently.
I still didn’t speak up.
Well, because I refuse to admit that there’s a possibility I’m injured. In my mind, my hip just hurts. Coach Cane once told me that “aches and pains during marathon training are par for the course.” I have an appointment with a sports doctor guy on Tuesday, and after that I’ll be fine. I’m stretching, icing, rolling and not really running. I’m playing it safe and I’m being smart. I’m not doing anything Coach Cane would shake his head at.
In fact, I’m not doing anything at all without running it by Coach Cane first. He is my #1 email correspondent.
Yoga actually felt really good. The class wasn’t intense at all. Lots of slow stretching, twisting and breathing. There were one or two poses that felt a bit weird for me, but I modified them and by the end of class my hip felt nicely loosened up. My brain even managed to calm down for about 10 minutes during class, too.
I won’t run today, but I did make it to a SoulCycle class this morning. I sweat a lot. The sweat puddle underneath my bike was substantially huge by the end of the 45-minute ride and it felt awesome to wake up that way, and none of the movements on the bike aggravated my hip. Everything felt wonderful. Coach Cane says spinning is good for me.
So I’ve had two nice workouts in the last 24 hours, and that’s nice.
But to be completely honest, my mood kind of sucks right now.
If you’ve read this blog for more than about eight seconds, you know that I’m a positive, genuinely happy person. I really do think life is awesome and I love puppies and I sometimes think the sun is out even when it’s raining. La la la rainbows, sparkles, flowers. That’s my outlook and I’m sticking with it…or I’m trying to.
I’m trying to stay positive and I’m telling myself this nagging pain isn’t a big deal. And that’s true — maybe it’s nothing, maybe it’s just an overworked muscle and maybe with some more ice and foam rolling it’ll go away.
I do tend to get just a little dramatic sometimes I guess. (Mom and Brian, I can see you both rolling your eyes right now. I’M ADMITTING TO BEING DRAMATIC. Accept it and lay off the “I told you so” comments I know you’re dying to leave. Love you.)
I’m being bitchy because I’ve never had anything hurt since I started running. How lucky have I been, right? But now I’m training for something, so I have this deadline in my head: April 29. If I didn’t have this race on the very-quickly-approaching horizon, I think I’d be more chill. But I want to be running hard now, and my body is disagreeing. Rude.
Now that I’m facing the tiniest setback, I’m constantly thinking about how much running means to me and wondering if there’s a chance that sometime down the road I’ll have to live through a longer stretch without doing something I love.
Yoga is nice and spinning is great, but running has become my favorite. I’m not Ali On The Spin Bike or Ali On The Mat or Ali Plays With Dumbbells. No no. Ali runs.
And Ali wants to keep running!
So Ali is going to ice. Ali is going to stretch. Ali is going to foam roll until her legs turn to mush.
Ali is going to stop talking in third person now, because it’s weird I think.
I also keep telling myself that I’m not immobile! As frustrating as it is not to be able to pound out speedwork right now or go crazy with hill repeats (just kidding, I don’t do that anyway), there’s still plenty I can do. And that’s where I’m attempting to shift my focus. I can spin. I can yoga. I can lift stuff. I can eat. I can breathe. I can walk around. I can play with puppies. I cannot own a puppy, but I can be the creepy girl who asks to play with random pups on the street. I can do a lot of things many people can’t do, so no more complaining. At least not out loud…
I may have pain that will go away in a few days, or I may have something that needs a little more attention. Either way, life is still good, and my mood has actually significantly improved since writing this all out.
Writing is therapy, I swear.
And as a final reminder, things really can always be so much worse. If a little hip pain is the worst thing in my life right now, I think I can handle it. It’s not like I’m Donna Martin and just got tossed down a flight of stairs by Ray Pruit.
That would really suck.
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!