- October 26, 2012 by AliPlease Let Me Make Your Day (That Means A Giveaway!)
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- January 16, 2015 by AliA Crohn's Update + Things To Know About Enrolling In A Clinical Trial
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“I Want” Vs. “I Need”
If you were one of the lucky ones who got to enjoy a three-day weekend, welcome back! I hope you took advantage of that extra day off and did something awesome, like went skydiving, or slept past 8 am.
If you didn’t have a long weekend, I’m sorry. I hope you still did something awesome, like called in sick to work.
I had yesterday off, and from Friday until last night, my weekend went like this: spin, eat tacos, run, eat, eat, drink, college reunion, eat, run, eat, eat, see a movie, eat during the movie, eat, run, eat, see a dance show.
Gluttonous? You bet.
I ate a ton this weekend, and drank as much, too. But I feel absolutely zero guilt — even with a bathing-suit-needed vacation on the horizon — because every single thing I ate was delicious. There was not a single mediocre meal in the bunch.
My dining choices this weekend included stops at places I’ve been dying to try all over New York City: Cafe D’Alsace (go for brunch, get the croque monsieur), The Meatball Shop (get the pesto meatballs, they are fantastic) and The Smith (the best mac and cheese I’ve had in my life).
For all you food bloggers out there, I honestly don’t know how you photograph your meals. As soon as my meatballs were put in front of me, I devoured them. It amazes me that you all take the time to pose your food and take pictures of it, because I see food and go all animalistic (Apparently this is not a word? Red squiggly line, I don’t like you.) on it. Power to you for having self-control.
Well, during my run this morning, I found myself thinking about the things in life that I really want, which forced me to question how to get those things, and also, which things in life do I want and which things do I need?
I do all my deepest thinking at 6 am with sweat dripping into my eyeballs. Don’t you?
Here are some things that I want, countered by the things that I actually need:
I want to eat whatever the heck I crave. I try to be all, “Crohn’s disease doesn’t own me, I own it,” all the time. If I want a giant plate of fish and chips, I should be able to have it, right?
I need to be more careful, because when a little bit of corn sneaks into my veggie burger, I will pay for it the next day. Last night at dinner I ordered a veggie burger. I crave those sometimes. It’s weird for me. I took a few bites of the burger, which was delicious, and then I saw it: corn. Corn is one of the foods I definitely cannot stomach. I mean, can anyone really digest corn well? I don’t think so.
I ate the entire burger, because in my head a few pieces of corn in a burger wouldn’t be so bad. But as I ran this morning — six slow miles through Central Park — I was miserable. I had to stop to use the bathroom, and I was in all kinds of pain. It may or may not be because of the corn, but either way I need to be cautious about my food choices and maybe cool it on the sweet potato fries.
I want to work hard and run a spring marathon. I’d also really like to shave a whopping 14 minutes off my first marathon time, bringing me across the finish line in less than 4 hours.
I need to take more rest days, then. I ran a lot over the weekend, mostly because my gym options were minimal and I wanted to work out. I did spinning on Friday afternoon (excellent use of a lunch break), and set out for some sort of long run on Saturday morning.
I ran to Central Park, met up with Brian for a few miles and then somehow picked up the pace toward the end. I was actually pretty psyched about these splits.
I ran again on Sunday — five slow miles — and then returned to the park yesterday for eight “nothing too fast or special” miles.
I wrapped up the running this morning with six slow miles. Now my legs are ready to rest. I know that if I want to run forever, I need to run a little less now. It’s tough because I really, genuinely enjoy running. But I need to cool it on the miles just a little. My knees are feeling achy and I should probably become a little friendlier with my foam roller.
I want to be able to attend every social event coming up in 2012. There are so many engagement parties, weddings, bachelorette parties, bridal showers, baby showers, ski trips, dinner parties and birthday parties on the horizon, and in an ideal world I’ll be at every single one of them with a big present and an “I’m here to party” attitude.
I need to prioritize. There’s just no way I can do it all. I’m slowly learning that. Not only is it financially unfeasible, it’s also just a little too much for me. There are certain events I wouldn’t miss for the world. Then there are events that aren’t going to make the cut. There’s a lot of travel involved in 2012, and I swear I spend more time on JetBlue.com than any other website.
I will make sure I am at the events that matter most. Family comes first. Yes, Lauren, you count as family. You too, Becky. After that, it’s a toss up.
I want my landlord to lower my rent. He wants to raise it.
I need to accept the fact that, despite my persistence and begging, that is not going to happen. My rent is rising. I need to figure this one out.
I want to leave for vacation on Friday with an empty inbox.
I need to get in the habit of reading an email and responding to it immediately. I’m terrible at this. I read emails on my phone, save them for later, tell myself I’ll respond “as soon as I get to a computer” and then never actually make that happen. I’m confident I’ll be more efficient and productive if I can make this little life change.
I want to get more sleep.
I need to go to bed earlier.
I want to cook more.
I need to grocery shop more.
I want to go skiing this year. I got some excellent gear for Christmas. Now I need to put it to good use. I love skiing but hate that it’s not a year-round activity. There are only so many winter weekends up for grabs!
I need to pick a weekend and go. If I keep debating when and if I’ll go skiing, it’s never going to happen. It’s the same thing every year. I need to buckle down and make plans so that I can hit the slopes.
I want a clean apartment.
I need to buy a vacuum.
I think that’s all for now. I want to sleep all day, but I need to get to work.
Have a great day!
AND IF YOU’D LIKE: Tell me something you want and something you need. I like these conversations we have.