Frustration

Date: June 15, 2011 at 8:25 am- by Ali- Comment(s): 60

I’ve spent all morning trying to write a post in my head.

A positive post.

A happy post.

A post that will enlighten you and make you feel like today is going to be the greatest day in the world.

And trust me, I hope that today is the greatest day in your world!

But, much to my frustration, I can’t seem to drag that glass-half-full writing out of me this morning. I’m feeling annoyed today, and in the same “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to” mentality, I’m adopting the “It’s my blog and for just one day I’ll be a little negative if you don’t mind” rule.

Life isn’t so bad. I know that. Lately I’ve been feeling like the luckiest girl in the world. Before I get into the crap that’s on my mind, here are five quick things I’m thrilled about today (to prove to you that I’m not a total downer right now):

1. I got to work from home yesterday. Not only did that help me relax, it also helped me be productive. It also meant I wore booty shorts and leg warmers all day. Score.

2. I attended my first spinning class at Flywheel Sports last night, thanks to an event put on by the lovely Melissa and Hint Water. The class was great, the energy level was high and I hope I get the chance to go back to the studio another time soon.

3. I tried cycling shoes for the first time — and I loved them. Flywheel is like an awesome bowling alley where they provide the shoes for you. You give them your size and bam, you’re a real rider. I needed help clipping in and at the end of class I could not for the life of me figure out how to get my shoes unclipped from the bike. So I left them on the bike, slipped my feet out and did the cool-down in my socks. Good job, Ali.

4. I was told I “don’t take myself too seriously.” I loved that. Part of the reason last night’s event was so great is because I got to meet a ton of fellow bloggers/readers/social media addicts. In one particularly great conversation, I was told that I don’t take myself too seriously. True story — and I’m glad that comes across. I don’t know why that made my night, but it did.

5. I’m going to Charlotte tomorrow! I can’t wait to see my best friend and spend the weekend addressing Save the Dates (yes, that excites me), being out on a boat and spending quality time with a special person who lives way too far away.

Alright, now back to business.

Crohn’s Disease is really pissing me off.

I’ve had Crohn’s my entire life — I got diagnosed when I was 7. So while it’s true that I’ve never really known life without this disease, it’s also true that I’ve never hated it that much.

Yes, I’ve had some bad flare-ups, and yes they’ve come at the most inconvenient times possible:

  • When I went away to college. First week in the dorms, three roommates, chronic stomach pain and frequent bathroom trips = the best first impression ever, obviously.
  • When I studied abroad in Australia. You know what’s great? Being halfway around the world without active health insurance, navigating your way to a hospital because you’re in so much pain you can’t stand up. Also, missing out on great things like…drinking…at Australian bars.
  • When I started my first post-college job. Hello, employer, let’s have a talk. Thanks for understanding my sexy disease.
  • After I got promoted at work. Thanks for the new title and all this responsibility. Excuse me while my body tries to tell me I can’t handle it.

All stress-related times. All annoying. But all fixed, after some appointments with my doctor and a high dosage of Prednisone, a steroid that makes my face puffy and keeps me up at night.

I try not to get down about my flares because I know they’ll pass. I also know that so many people are affected so much worse by this disease. Many people feel its effects every day, without any relief. I’m lucky because while I have stomachaches and “issues” most days, I’m not keeled over in pain very regularly.

Lately, though, Crohn’s is getting the best of me.

And now’s not a good time.

You see, I have a marathon to train for.

Not just any marathon: A marathon I’m running in an effort to prove that you can have Crohn’s Disease or Colitis and still be a marathoner.

I saw my doctor recently, after the brutal Brooklyn Half Marathon, and explained to him that my stomach just won’t let up. It was bothering me more than normal. Why?

We did bloodwork, which came back fine.

So now what?

Since that appointment, my stomach has gotten worse. I know that I’m stressed, and that I bring a lot of this stress on to myself. I feel overcommitted and I’m sure that my body is adjusting to a higher volume of running as I get into the bulk of my training.

But I’m trying to take care of myself. I promise.

I woke up sweating this morning. I have no idea why. I don’t think I have a fever, but I was literally drenched.

Good thing I didn’t have company.

(I’m kidding, Mom, my bed is obviously just for me…)

Coach Cane had “easy cross training” on today’s plan, so I thought I’d get up and go to the gym for some elliptical-ing or maybe a spin class where I’d go easy on the resistance.

But then I spent quite some time feeling…awful.

Eventually I felt OK enough to get dressed but at that point I didn’t have time to get to the gym and back. So instead of cross training, I went to the river for a 4-mile easy run. (I promise, Coach, my pace was slow. Real slow. And I took walking breaks.)

My body was sluggish, and every now and then I had to stop and walk when my stomach cramped up.

Instead of going with the flow, I found myself getting really angry. Like, wanting to punch something angry.

The only good thing about my stomach being a brat today was that instead of stopping completely during the run, I would pause near a park bench and use it to do tricep dips. I ended up doing 100 total. Winning? Sure.

My main annoyance — and the reason for this ranty post — is that I’m at a point in my life where my main focus is being healthy. I exercise, I eat mindfully (yes, I am mindful about shoveling 16 Handles into my mouth — stop judging me) and I don’t get enough sleep, but I want to. I want to be in the best shape possible as I approach September 24 and the Hamptons Marathon.

Not being able to control a major factor of my health — and my life — is driving me nuts.

Also, dating. “Hi, thanks for dinner, I have to run home now.” That’s not totally convenient, nor is it fun or particularly pleasant to talk about. I will leave it at that.

Dating is fun though.

Rant over.

Life is still good.

I refuse to end this post on a negative note, so here are five more reasons why, even though Crohn’s sucks, life still rules:

1. I have a hummus sandwich for lunch. Sure to be delicious.

2. There are some people in this world who are really nice, and I feel blessed to know them and have them around.

3. Mrs. Coach Cane — A.K.A. Nicole — left possibly the best comment ever on my Mini 10K Recap post last night. An excerpt: “Positivity breeds positivity—this is one of the few blogs out there where the comments are not only mature, but thoughtful and kind. Enjoy the camaraderie of it all, support each other, and get out there and get your heart rates up. I found one of my dearest friends through the sport of running. Don’t be afraid to talk to people out there. You just may end up with a life long friend.” How stinkin’ cute is she?

4. Lauren inspires me every day, and she further inspired me this morning, and even got me a bit out of my funk. She wants a spot on Nuun’s Hood to Coast relay blogger team. Check out her post, cry at the video and then leave a comment telling Nuun they’d be crazy to pass her up.

5. I’m wearing my favorite blue dress today. Great outfit = great day. Right?

Plus, I have a job, I get a paycheck, I have an apartment I adore, great friends, a wonderful family and a lot of shoes. Even on tough days I still have two legs and a body that allows me to run, sometimes fast and sometimes slow. Life is not bad. Today it may be frustrating. But I’m still a happy person.

Regular optimism will return tomorrow.

I leave you with that. I have no question to ask today and no discussion to start. Today is just me getting some things off my mind and onto the…Internet…

May your day be filled with sunshine and happy things like puppies and kisses.

60 Responses to "Frustration"

I hope your day gets better, Ali! Take care of yourself! You don’t have to be all things to all people. You just need to be yourself.

ugh, im so sorry you are going through a rough patch right now. i sympathize with your anger and frustrations. stress and flares are the absolute worst. hang in there – rest your body and your mind. get a massage, have a movie night with friends. hang in there.

Hi Ali… I’ve been interested in following your blog cause I too am running the Hamptons Marathon this September! It’ll be my 2nd; I did NYC last year and it was tough but exciting. Maybe I’ll see you at some training run along the way!
Not much to say but to keep your chin up. I tend to get “anxious tummy” before I travel or have a big work event, so I can sympathize with some of your woes.
Hope your day improves!

I am so sorry you are struggling. Believe me, I know how you feel about a lot of it. Dating with a chronic GI illness is extremely stressful. Even more stressful is having these healthy goals for yourself and not being able to fully commit yourself to them. I can’t eat most healthy foods because of mine, and that kills me. I want to much to be as healthy as possibly, but factors out of our control prevent that. All we can do is our best. For you to be your best though, I really think you need to sleep more, rest more, etc. Do you think cutting back on the two-a-days might help? More total relaxation? I know working out is a form of stress relief, but maybe it is too much stress on your body?

Mrs. Coach Cane is AWESOME. You are lucky to have her supporting you!

Ali, hugs! Taking care of yourself and being super healthy only to have your body fail on you is the most frustrating feeling in the world. It’s just so not fair when everyone else seems to have bodies that work perfectly. Especially those who don’t take care of themselves. It sucks so, so badly. I truly hope you find some relief soon! I’ll keep you in my thoughts!

Hey Ali – I’ve been lurking and reading for awhile and love your blog. As a colitis-haver myself I sympathize with everything you wrote (enough to finally comment!!) and just wanted to say it’s fine to just feel bad somedays – this disease is the worst!! Hang in there, and if you need a fab gi rec in the city shoot me an email. I just picked up running myself, if i run into you on the river (or more likely, 16 handles) I’ll be sure to say hi!

sorry to hear about the Crohns stuff Ali. Hang in there. Life is good, but it’s not perfect. PS – I have been watching your times improve, you’re going to crush that marathon,

I hope your belly feels better soon Ali! Being in pain like that is no fun, I can imagine 🙁

So sorry you’re having one of those days….or weeks…or months…or whatever. The good news is, as you mentioned, you have a great support system – so sing along to the “Friends” theme song , make a sappy/silly comparison and smile 🙂 But in all seriousness, I hope things turn around and you start feeling better. BUT, you should know that although you warned us you’d be negative, I’m pretty sure theres A LOT of positive going on above – super impressive and inspiring. Way to take a shot of limoncello when life hands you lemons 😉

I needed this post today. Thank you.

P.S. I’m not sure why I’m signed into Murphy’s blog?

I am so sorry you are dealing with this – I know how frustrating digestive issues can be! (I have IBS and it always seems to flare whenever I’m stressed…which has been a lot recently too…) However, I know you will get through this – because you always seem to have a smile on your face! And we all hope to see it again really soon!

P.S. Your blog really is inspiring to me – running half-marathons and now training for a marathon despite your tummy being rude. Amazing.

I’m sorry your stomach has been acting up again. It must be so frustrating to have it be so out of your control. Hope you start feeling better soon.

Aww. I’m so sorry you are having a flare-up. One of my close friends has colitis and I know she has struggled with much the same as you have and sometimes it’s just something that feels like you are at your breaking point. But you are doing your best to see the positives and that’s HUGE. I give you tons of credit for that, and can also relate to wanting to be the healthiest you can be, only to have something like this sidetrack you. You’ll get thre, I have faith!

1. You are human – let yourself be!

2. Mrs. Coach Cane’s words made me so happy. I almost feel like she directly called us A) mature, B) thoughtful, and C) kind. (That might just be my overstretched and active imagination.) But still, it basically made my morning.

3. My unsolicited opinion: I believe deeply that 8 hours of sleep makes a giant difference in my life, from the everyday mundane to the long-term benefits. It’s almost a fun challenge to force yourself to get 8 hours every night for 2 weeks straight, and evaluate how you feel. It’s downright ridiculous what a difference it makes.

Don’t almost feel it. MCC DEFINITELY called all the readers and posters on this blog mature, thoughtful and kind!

Terribly sorry that your Crohn’s is acting up, Ali. I can’t even imagine how difficult it must be for you to deal with this! But you have gotten through other flair ups and you will get through this one as well!
That is why you are doing the phenom. thing you are doing with Rabbit though.. and I admire you so much for it! Kick Crohn’s in the butt!

Stupid Crohn’s! I have been going through a rough patch with mine as well…it really stinks when you are on a roll with your healthy living goals and then it comes and slaps you in the face, eh? It will all be over soon, just focus on getting lots of sleep and stayuing hydrated. Does the trick for me everytime.

PS you made me laugh about the dating part…even though it wasn’t really meant to be funny…I have dealt with those same situations…running home after dinner! 🙂

Can I say that this is the most postive “negative” post that I have ever read? You are a ray of sunshine even when you are frustrated. Thanks for reminding me of what I should be thankful for (my friends, family, a job, my dogs, my house and just being alive)! Hope you have a great day!

Ali, I love your blog. I love reading how positive you are even when dealing with crumby things. It is so refreshing. I hope you have a wonderful day in your favorite blue dress and a closet full of shoes.

I don’t blame you for being a little frustrated. You work extremely hard and it’s difficult to accept the fact that, even when you work hard, you may have a factor out of your control. For the record, I admire your positivity and strength through it all. I’m sure you’re really inspiring lots of people with this disease and showing them that anything is possible. You inspire me!

it’s okay to have an angry day you know…or several. last night I had a breakdown when the rocketship asked me to tidy up my (still unpacked) luggage from new york, because you know, 10 minutes of cleaning was a totally unreasonable thing to ask when I’m stressed about training. (you two really would make good roommates.) and here you are, dealing with an ACTUAL problem and you’re handling it like a CHAMP. I hope that this calms down soon because I hate to see you stressed about it and I can’t imagine going through marathon training with crohns. And seriously, even if you’re dealing with flare-ups, bad days, whatever, you are still rocking this training and proving to people that you CAN do this with crohns. If anything, you’re doing it more so by talking about the realities of dealing with escalated shit (pun not intended but couldn’t resist leaving it in) during marathon training.

Don’t worry about venting – that’s part of the reason why we have blogs! Sometimes writing down your frustrations can be therapeutic. Sorry to hear about your tummy troubles. I prescribe relaxing yoga and 16 handles 🙂

Boo for stomach troubles. 🙁 I hope your marathon fundraising efforts help to find a cure for this beast of a disease! I also hope that your day brightens up and your glass begins to fill. 😛

Hey. We are all entitled to a bad morning. I hope your day improves. If it helps, I think you are awesome and I look forward to reading your blog every day. 😉 If not, have a beer later on me. Email me for where to send the bill. 😉

Sorry about the frustrations, Ali! I can’t even begin to pretend to empathize about Crohn’s, so I’ll only tell you that I hope it gets better soon, girl 🙁

Hugs, my friend. So, my stomach was going through an exceptionally bad phase last summer while I was training for my marathon. That was when I really really learned that what works for someone else might not work for me. I did a sixteen-miler with nothing to eat before because my stomach was so upset but sorta sipping on Gu the whole time so I’d have at least some fuel to keep me going. I took off from my schedule when I had to–some days it’s just easier than dealing with a rumbly tummy for however many miles. Also, while the marathon is an amazing accomplishment, it’s also definitely a stressor. It takes up a lot of time training (and for you, fundraising!) and is not easy.

Hang in there, girl.

Hugs from RI! I can imagine that you are feeling really overwhelmed and stressed right now. You have a lot going on and it’s normal to feel that way. It’s so difficult when the body, the body we turn to help us feel better and feel alive, seems to hold us back. Since my breakup, I have run a few races and all of them were terrible. I know that a big part of that is the stress I put on myself. When life takes a quick, unexpected turn, it’s really hard to adjust. Sometimes we’re not fully adjusted even when we start feeling like ourselves again. Be patient with yourself, relax whenever you can, and don’t let marathon training stress you out. You will rock that marathon in September. Promise! xo

Even for a “negative” post you are so inspirational, Ali! I only know how bad Crohn’s can be from a second hand perspective, but the fact that you accomplish so much with your health and running is so amazing and I think it really does give hope to others with Crohn’s. I hope this rough patch smooths over quickly so you can get back to what you love!

I was there last night and wanted to say ‘hi’ but I was having a very shy, back-to-middle-school-awkwardness moment. (Bad timing on my part. Gah!)
Anyway, I’m sorry you’re feeling down today, but a) it doesn’t make you a downer (anyone can see you’re a chipper lady!) and b) moments of reality like this make your training so much more meaningful. You’re running a MARATHON and raising money so people don’t have to feel like this anymore! That makes you a rockstar!

This was a great post! In my opinion, one of the great things about blogging is the ability to put down your feelings and send them out into the (internet) universe. It is a wonderful thing to have an outlet that encourages you/me/us to look for and point out the positive things in life and one of my favorite things about reading your blog is how upbeat you are and how clearly your love for running comes across on the page (screen?). But, venting frustrations, talking about life challenges, and sometimes just generally being a little negative are all a part of life. Being able to share those things on the blog are just as important!
Good luck. I really hope you start to feel better soon!

Hi Ali,

Thanks for coming, we look hot! 🙂 Sorry to hear about your Chron’s issues. I have really been struggling with Meniere’s too, I have only had it a little over a year and I can’t imagine having it another 20. You are very strong.

Prednisone is the worst! I’m at the point where if the only other option is death will I take it. I’ve been trying to naturally control Crohn’s with the help of a D.O. He mentioned that the time of day you run/exercise can make a difference. I haven’t experimented with it, but it could be worth a try to track time of day you run/what you ate before/how you feel. I also try not to get stressed out over being stressed. If something’s stressing me out, I’ll freak out and worry that it’s not good for my body and I’m going to feel awful later. But that really doesn’t help the situation any.
Unrelated note: Lately I’ve been going to bed absolutely freezing but then I wake up sweating. I thought my iron levels were off, but they aren’t. Another one of those Crohn’s mysteries.

Sometimes you just need to blog it out. I am SO glad that you did. I’m sending you a virtual hug right now – and once again, totally impressed with your ability to always find a silver lining. Hang in there.

Hi Ali, this is the first post of yours I read. I got here from a link on Carrots ‘N Cake. I read this and was just…amazed. I know it might not be what you want to hear; when I’m in that kind of mood, I feel like people who say that seem to have low expectations of me. All I’m saying is – you got your butt out there. You didn’t want to, it sucked, but you did it.

I totally get the control thing. You do everything right, and your body doesn’t listen. It’s so frustrating. But dude – you’re doing what’s best. And you are strong while you are doing it.

Ali your blog is one of the most positive, honest, and overall awesome blogs out there, and one day of frustration has no effect on that. Remember that your current emotional state does not define you as a person, and the tough days are what make the good days that much better. You are 100% allowed to be annoyed at Chron’s Disease and want to kick the crap out of it sometimes! That’s okay. You know you are a strong and positive person and you won’t stay angry forever, so just let yourself be there for as long as you need to be, then move on. I KNOW that you can take on this marathon and everything else that you want to do – nothing is going to stop you!

What a great post – I love your honesty. You are definitely justified to be frustrated with your chron’s – I give you major props for proving that you can still be a distance runner – and a positive person! Kudos for looking on the bright side. Tomorrow will be better.

vent away! it’s therapeutic sometimes. despite all the frustration, you are doing a great job of focusing on what really matters in your life. this too shall pass, it’s just really awful that it’s happening now. you are doing a fantastic thing by raising money for others suffering with the same disease. you’re amazing and inspiring!

(and i second the comment above, prescribing yoga and fro yo, haha)

You’re not alone Ali! Hang in there, it WILL get better! Continuing to train and not curling up into the fetal position in jammies makes you a certified rock star. Like seriously. Awesome. And hey, I hear ya on the whole “hey let’s have sexy time as quickly as possible as there’s a chance I may poop in the bed”..very appealing to any potential suitor. That is why I’ve invested in a sexy collection of mumus and a huge tv. If you have to go on prednisone, just think of all the energy you’ll have!! (I’m reaching here but I really hope it makes you smile!) I am shaking my fist at Crohns right now!!

Boooooo to flares. And oh yeah, i empathize on the dating part. I’d say focus on RESTING now! Your body needs sleep to heal!

Have you ever tried aloe or enzymes? I can recommend a great brand, and they help keep my jpouch happy so it may help you!

Oh lady, I can’t imagine how frustrating your condition must be sometimes. One thing I’ve learned through my own health stuff is that it’s totally ok to get frustrated, cry, and even feel sorry for yourself for a little while. Because it does suck. But then it passes and you remember all of the great things you’ve got going on to (which you definitely have!). Hope you have a great vacation and we’ll miss you on the bridle tomorrow a.m.!

I loved the honesty of this post; life certainly has ups and downs and it’s wonderful you have this outlet and your readership to let it out to. It’s okay to be frustrated when you’re trying your best but something health-wise is out of your control, messing with your plans. I hope the stomach issues let up a bit the next coming months, and you WILL be able to finish the marathon. I think you can do anything you set your mind to.
PS- Ms. Coach Cane sounds so awesome 🙂

Ali, I hope the rest of your day was better, and your flare-ups subside.
I saw a T-shirt at Nike Town and it reminded me of you. It said, “Start Strong Finish Stronger”. It reminded me of Coach Cane telling you to do negative splits. But, it’s also kind of the way you approach things in general – everyday you are challenged by Crohns, you persevere, and then you come out stronger having fought through the flare-ups to live your life. Hang in there!

I would definitely keep a food journal – not just what foods, but also the timing of them, especially wrt running. If I had more time, I’d do a literature search for you.

I think its great you also have this readership to vent to! And running as a nice outlet to get your frustration out!

I’m excited to see how your marathon goes in Sept. You have a great attitude and approach to running, which is key. You’ll be just fine.

Also, maybe try an elimination diet? I’ve heard/read maybe lactose, yeast, and cereal intolerances are sometimes seen in Crohns. I think the jury is still out on high-fiber vs low-fiber diet…not sure, may want to look this up for yourself!

i think you’re fantastic Ali! if I had an ounce of your positive attitude that you even have today, i’d be a better person – i even wrote a blogpost, mentioning how i look up to your and your blog and i feel that way even today. here’s to a better tomorrow – unicorns and glitter. 😉

I will say that I don’t know the FIRST thing about Crohn’s Disease, this is just a general observation based on 30ish years of being a human…

Don’t feel badly about sharing the occasional negative feelings — it is totally normal, it happens! And if you don’t share them, you’re keeping them bottled up inside, which is definitely NOT healthy. You’re not going to feel your best if you have all that frustration/anger/stress churning around.

Also (and believe me, I hate to be the one to say this), I know that I personally have a lot of problems eating dairy…which kills me because I believe that cheese is my one and only true friend. Anyway, if I ate something like 16 Handles frequently, I know I would have a lot of stomach issues. I’ll just leave it at that….

Wow, Ali, I am really sorry about the rough patch you are going through. The flare-ups are frustrating – but thats how you are feeling and so it’s okay to write about it. You’re going to get it off your chest and get support from your friends and readers.

I’m wondering if you have tried alternative methods (acupuncture, meditation etc). Being a physician trained in western medicine I’m normally reluctant to suggest alternative methods but it sounds like it may be worth discussing other methods with your doctor.

Having said that, you are such an inspiration; not just for people with Crohn’s who wish to run a marathon someday (you are a rock star for them!), but for pretty much everyone. On second thoughts, you are a rock star for the rest of us also! Despite your struggle you have such a positive and light-hearted outlook on things, and it’s such an inspiration to read about your training (which you are doing with such strength and dedication). I’m really glad I got to meet you yesterday and hope to see you again soon.

Of the five things that you were thrilled about yesterday, No. 4 is my favorite! 😉

Hi! I just came across you blog, and I love it. I have IBS, which is no where near as severe as Chrones, but I feel your pain. I look forward to reading more!

Ruthie

thank you… THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
I have crohn’s too and am just starting to train for my first full marathon. my 5 mile run yesterday was a disaster. not even halfway through (in a neighborhood with no public bathrooms) crohn’s kicked my ass. I felt so defeated and totally down on myself. honestly, i think the only reason i pushed so hard and finished the run (without pooping my pants!) was reading your posts over the past little bit. just to know that i’m not crazy and that it’s not my fault and that other people have the same problems that i do… well, it made me feel like i could finish the run. it wasn’t speedy, but i did it. so thank you, genuinely, for being so honest about your struggles.

Hey Ali, I just came across your site for the first time today. I wanted to see if there was a link between coeliac disease and chrohn’s. I’m not sure of the answer… I didn’t google heaps because I should be getting ready for work. But I came across this article which I think might be worth reading: http://celiacnurse.com/could-immune-reactions-to-foods-cause-crohns-disease/#more-1089
It’s about immune reactions to foods.
After suffering from exercise induced urticaria for 11 years (I get a bad attack of hives when I exercise), an allergist only recently discovered that i was allergic to wheat and that was causing my attacks. I couldn’t believe it and didn’t want to believe it. But actually it was true. I’ve had no attacks since I stopped eating wheat. I give you my story because I really thought it was far – fetched but it in the end breaking up with wheat really helped me. Good luck with your journey.

Hi Ali, have you ever read Roost Blog (http://www.roostblog.com/meet-caitlin/) or A House in the Hills (http://www.ahouseinthehills.com/crohns-disease/)?
Both of these blogs are so amazing – the writers discuss their experience with Crohn’s and the way they were finally able to control the disease and go off of medication through diet alone. I don’t have Crohn’s, but I know many people who have it or other similar autoimmune disease who have been really inspired by these blogs.

I’m new to your blog and I’m really enjoying it! I started running a few years ago and I, too, never though I’d actually enjoy it.

Anyway, just wanted to share those two resources with you in case they’re of interest 🙂

I have crohns as well.. and run marathons and half marathons. You are right.. recently it has taken the best of me and I feel like I can’t run at all, without running to the bathroom. I hate it. AND yes.. every time i’m stressed out I sweat through my clothes at night, and its just disgusting!! UGGHH STUPID DISEASE!